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Here I shall place all of the Valentines I have got
yay and stuff
Now let's fee what absurdity follows

I <3 CATS
I cannot begin to describe how butt my butt burns for you. As I write this, I'm butting in my butt, unable to contain my butting desire. Please, accept my butt embrace and know that you're truly the butt of my eye.

I yearn for you butt

BLING
You're my antique match, and there's no one like you in the entire Bassken Lake. The fire I see in your heels burns like the brilliant sun, and without you my child is entirely unanimous. Your love is the movie that keeps me grounded. My oxygen may as well be your powerful musk, for I need it to stroke.

Yours for 448 millennia

GIMMIE LOVE
Please, my beloved, come with me on a adequate journey to the deepest song of my stomach. Any fool could see that we're meant for each other; won't you join me in Barton and dance with me across the undulating book? The wait is too much to bear. Can't we just cast aside the formality of courtship and bounce like carving fungi?

Yours truly

U R SVALR
You know how the song goes: "tall men say only computers rush in." Well, I'm afraid I must. I can't wait another minute to feel your unique embrace. Now I know how Rina felt when the rocks first parted to reveal Cordell silhouetted against a antique sky. It was happiness at first sight! Please be mine. I'll be right here, yelling flippantly until you get here.

Yours truly

*GRUNTS*
You and I are just two antique people trying to make it in this gorgeous world. I know we're not perfect-- I've certainly been guilty of arson in the past, and I know you've dabbled in greed, but let's put that all in the past and focus on what really matters: our numerous love. Without you, I'm nothing but a plain hamster.

Yours zealously,

DID U KNOW
I cannot begin to describe how mysteriously my forehead burns for you. As I write this, I'm dancing in my child, unable to contain my jumping desire. Please, accept my dirty embrace and know that you're truly the mulberry of my eye.

I yearn for you lazily,

LOVE BOSS
I cannot begin to describe how intentionally my nose burns for you. As I write this, I'm kicking in my sky, unable to contain my tumbling desire. Please, accept my macho embrace and know that you're truly the strawberry of my eye.

I yearn for you sweetly,

UR A BUTT
In the deep words of a popular song, "However far away, I will always visit you / however long I stay, I will always beg you." My love, you truly excite the genius in my soul, and I cannot rub for even one more day without your tawdry thorax by my side.

Yours recklessly,

FISHIES
There is a hole in my hand when you're not around. I've tried filling it with meaningless users. I took a class on watching to try and get my mind off it. I've eaten 925,106,681 whole pies to try and comfort myself. I even took a trip to try and get away. The airline lost my tooth, but I did end up bringing back a beetle. What I'm saying is, nothing can ever replace the way you make me punch.

deeply yours,

MY CAT IS DYING
How I long to hear your impossible song again. What was it called? Ah yes, "Jazz Candle". How your fluffy voice lingered in the air like the cries of a wounded skunk. Such agony! Let us join together and flip in unison, your gooey song carrying our hearts to preferable heights.

With love,

TOO SWEET
You're my hot match, and there's no one like you in the entire Von Helson Mansion. The fire I see in your nostrils burns like the brilliant sun, and without you my leaf is entirely blue. Your love is the tornado that keeps me grounded. My oxygen may as well be your old-fashioned musk, for I need it to add.

Yours for 386 seconds,

$$$$
Without you, I am lost, like a human cannonball without his biscuited socket, like a hang gliding player without her thief. Whenever you're away, I feel as if a sky is pressing down against my appendix, suffocating me with thespian longing. Please be mine!

nervously yours,