Please take nothing in this entry seriously. I ramble and I don't think before I write which is why I sound different in writing; it comes straight from my mind as I'm thinking it. I would like no arguments and hatred and "I don't like your opinion" or "I don't like you", th-that is not necessary. Please let me speak? You do not have to listen c: Being a Virgo, I like balance in relationships. No conflict, no fights, all is peaceful heart
-sitting down with her knees together in a nonchalant sitting pose-
Was browsing/reading the first three pages of a thread in My Little Pony. Thought I'd check it out when I haven't watched the show in months, the same time I stopped watching Fairy Tail, so episodes could come out, and moved to One Piece while I waited.
... -ever so slightly nods her head- Interesting ...
-eyebrows knit together- Some people really hate, -tilts her head- don't they?
-closes her mouth, so her upper lip and her bottom lip quietly touch and remain together, for a moment before she speaks again- I find nothing worth truly despising to the nth power.
And here we find faults according to peoples' POVs, which is perfectly fine to an extent. I am not saying it is unacceptable to announce "[you don't like -whateveritis-]." We have enough hate in the world. It's not one's mandatory duty to hate on something or someone. So those, few, times, where one feels nothing towards "whatever it is", in comparison to "bashing" posts, well, there's a clear difference between one's talk and one's neutrality.
-crosses her legs; crosses her arms in thought-
Whenever people talk about a character they don't particularly love and adore with all their being, people are most likely taking the fictional series, meant to entertain and null your mind for a while, or teach and entertain, too seriously that characters/things actually make their faces twitch upon first glance/sound and install excruciating misery in their hearts.
It's a show.
-lightly smiles- Remember, it's also a show.
I may dislike a person with an exact personality as some character, like an obnoxious pony versus an obnoxious teenager, but that's the difference; the person's more important and the person's real. I may forget that it can be "silly" to be bothered by a fictional person, but it's not like this thinking, that it can be silly to be..., doesn't exist. (Per se ... )
So the pony is clear in front of my screen. Disrespectful beyond belief; rude to the point of mean. Twitch, I respond. I shortly grimace, but mainly stare at the episode with glazed-over eyes whenever the character pops up because the character is not worth my attention/annoys me too much for me to pay attention - but I don't hate. I just repeat the word 'annoying' in a comment/opinion. And that's not very surprising news, so no one should be alarmed. A Virgo gets easily irritated, but we never become actually furious. (Unless, of course, we bottle things up, and oh, yes, we do)
The other point of view people may not realize, including myself, when in the moment of being bothered:
So the pony is clear in front of one's screen. Bothering the heck out of the viewer. -lightly furrows her eyebrows- Yeah? -casually stares at you with a barely raised eyebrow, curious as to what is on your interesting mind- .. If not immediately after the nonexistent annoyance, at the end of the day, it definitely doesn't affect me. It doesn't reach me because it's a show. The character poses no real danger or harm to me. Our brains are wired so that if something mildly dangerous happens enough times, we no longer pay attention to it because it is not life-threatening. If I took a show seriously enough to hate on one of the fictional good guys, there would be chaos; I'd be disliking many characters from many shows and for what?
For what?
If you're sitting back, reading people's "hate", unaffected, you may find it amusing - funny in a small certain view of things (so don't jump to conclusions until I'm finished).
The funny thing is, your supposedly disliked characters, I suppose, or passionately disliked characters can't hear you. They can't listen to you or be affected by you in any way. Hah.
That's why pairing hate -- pairings that make sense (ie: not SangoxInuyaha but SangoxMiroku) but are hated on by people who simply find the pairing undesirable -- isn't ... helpful. It's exactly the same thing.
The girl and boy love each other and the girl, for example, is despised by human real, fans because of her personality or actions, but your opinions actually don't matter. The boy loves her and that's all she hears, all she can hear, and all she should hear.
Similar to a real life situation if a person's boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/spouse loves the person whereas other people, only because of contrasting personalities, don't like the person as much. "His hair looks annoying"; "she's clingy"; "he's bossy"; "she's over-protective"; "he's a shallow bloke worth of the two pennies jammed in each eye for his poor outlook"; well, that's just lovely, thank you for your input.
-realized she was wrong- rolleyes Okay, so, my made-up comments don't make sense with my explanation of "fans may dislike them, but doesn't matter because significant other loves them and that's all that exists," considering some comments I made are opinions where the person wouldn't have a significant other if the person is like that because the comments are hateful rather than casually pointing a fault sweatdrop . Sorry, my bad D8 I got carried away and was out of ideas at the same time;; Shouldn't have winged it. Aaaanyhow~
The people are in their own world. The world of their show. Heck, characters' parents disapproving of their lover, that could affect a character, but nothing a fan can say, now can it?
.. Enh -drops the topic- Sorry, I'm not going to continue; I lost interest and my point; I won't make a compelling post if I resume any longer ; ^ ;
EDIT, continues about the first half^, after the entry is completed:
Blah. I was babbling. FORGET EVERYTHING I SAID ABOVE! Fictional character can tick you off all you want, all the same as real people!
(You, maybe -- feel free to! -- but I'm another story.)
Yes, yes, everyone's perfectly correct in disliking something 8O (Not correct in disliking something without a good explanation or it's just mean bashing, right? C:> )
My one point, before I finish, is - one takes the show too seriously when they complain about a bothersome character that can't actually harm you. (Doesn't anyone find that sounding even a little silly?? <=| Strange, at least? How about thinking something's a little off?)
Beside, if it's truly that bad, just don't watch it. I've read an interesting point of view on Pinkie Pie being too hyperactive, a "glutton...[which the person finds] disgusting," obnoxious, or obsessive about attention. It was plain and mildly interesting (not compelling) reading all that because I never thought of it that; and I still don't. I appreciate the knowledge, but I also stared at the words, with a slightly disappointed and saddened expression. I thought that the person was taking it too seriously for the person to be talking that way =(
I wonder.
... For me, I watch MLP:FiM for fun. I take nothing of it seriously c: I just watch it to pass time and to know what happens, cause stories/plots are enjoyable, to the characters but I have never taken anything of the show seriously. And this is coming from someone who can easily criticize something if she wants to. -shrugs- I'm a child when I watch MLP:FiM, or anything else for that matter. (Except Doctor Who cause that sometimes creates cool discussions, ie: social psychology, human morality, the Doctors, the companions, Midnight, God Complex, etc.) I don't see anything I would have to complain about. If everyone disliked so many little things about it and the creator counted them all and considered them all, there would be no show. Fun, huh?
The story is what matters. The characters help the story along. They each get a trophy! -' u '- The ponies are who they are; you don't have to love them just as you don't have to love some people when you really can't due to differing personalities in realities, but that doesn't really mean it's acceptable to hate on some characters in shows like that, is it? =(
I don't understand why people are paying so much attention that things bothered them from first introduction. I just watch it and go through episode after episode after episode with no problem with anything. This happens in that episode, and that happens in this episode~~ Everything is light; everything is fun. The show is entertainment, after all; and I'm gladly entertained C:
-rereads post and thinks- ... Okay, so Pinkie Pie seems obnoxious to the person. "I can only liken her to that loud, drunk girl at a college dorm party who is running around the room, red cup in hand, screaming for attention and talking about how much fun she is. And, what is everyone else thinking? "Jeeze, who the HELL invited HER!?" Every time she speaks, I roll my eyes at the screen and all that I hear is, "AMG I DIDN'T GET ENOUGH ATTENTION THIS EPISODE/LAST EPISODE11!!!ONE PAY ATTENTION TO MY WITTY REMARKS, EVERYPONY11!!!!"
Yeah? 8O Well, I don't like obnoxious people either, but Pinkie Pie never struck me as that type of person. And I can EASILY recognize an obnoxious teenager in a dorm building - believe me. Being a classy person, I don't like those kinds of people, and they don't do humans justice either/too. Anyway, I always thought nothing much of the six main characters. I liked all of them. An observation is the show isn't too thought through in the way that every pony, the main six for example, have one distinct quality. Let's use Pinkie Pie. She has one past, one certain past, and then one repeating trait, her parties. The show is not exactly thought out through, something I noticed and I don't mind C: It's easy to remember like that. Multiply by six and it's still manageable to remember ~ ^ ^
Pinkie Pie's fine. It's who she is. She likes parties to an obsessive, unhealthy amount (I always thought the amount was weird and wasn't good, but I never thought it to be unhealthy and dangerous until now but only if I really think about it sweatdrop ). She likes being the welcoming committee. She's goofy; she's cheerful. She's herself. All I really thought is, "Everyone likes to be liked. It's a human quality." So when I read that someone thought she was obnoxious? ... Not only did it not affect me or persuade me, I realized ... that really isn't being obnoxious. Words are being twisted. I don't recall Pinkie Pie ever demanding attention.
One person suddenly doesn't like you. Who wouldn't look taken back then try for a little bit? It's not like you're a mean person where dislike would be expected, right? So it would be briefly confusing then upsetting for anyone.
Etcetc; Nah, but if Pinkie Pie were a human female and pranced around exactly as she does as a pony, sometimes screaming at people, pulling people away, being cheerful but to a weird degree, because I get this feeling there's a mandatory feeling attached to her parties and her happiness, I wouldn't like her. And that's the odd thing. The show is set in a world that does not touch me. That's why I've never felt any criticism towards any show in my life UNLESS/UNTIL I see something that happens that relates to me or life, or my life. -stares blankly for a moment- Sorry I took so long to clearly figure out why!
-noticed she replied about the attention but not the glutton part yet so she adds this in-
Look, I pay attention to detail as much as another meticulous person, but seriously? Her eating? D8 I never counted how much she actually eats. I paid attention, noticing she likes them, but I didn't pay that much attention. When the person pointed it out, I thought about it and I noted eating all those cakes would look a little disgusting, but that is why the words "fictional character" exist. If the pony was real, she would be sickening to watch. Really gross. But since she's not real, I never felt anything and even after acknowledging the Gaian's comment, I still be unaffected. It is the magic of animation. A perfect example is how some characters never change clothes. Pinkie Pie eating sweets is the same irksome thing. They are both unrealistic and illogical. Therefore, there is no need for you to focus your time, your brain, and your effort on something wasteful of your hard work.
-somewhat frowns in thought and concern- <8T ... I still don't understand why. -lightly sighs- I don't get some people's thinking. Being bothered by a character having the same clothes for infinity. -shakes head, exhaling- I don't get it.
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It may be me. I've been described that I "live in a fairytale." (A line which I love, thank you ~)
And all I replied, to someone, was simply that I love my parents. I find nothing wrong with them and nothing to hate them over, for anything, ever.
They feel angry because they care about me; they lecture me and teach me so I know things. They're amazing and I'm lucky to have those two specific people in my life to have met in the past and to have become my parents, and I'm fully aware how lucky I am (I'm a naturally lucky person) which is why I'm always grateful. Haha. You always hear me saying 'thank you' because it's true; I know what it's like to not have what I have and I know what's it's like to have what I have.
Add in my feelings when it comes to anger and you get a very non-confrontational point of view. A neutral place where one can work in.
I, naturally unbiased at certain times like the following, can consider both sides, people hating and people loving, understand them entirely based on background information, story, or explanation a friend openly gives me, and combine them in the mutual compromise that results after some mediating. It may look like I'm a (big/constant) interferer -apologetic smile- but you misunderstand, sir/madam. I'm a helper. I can't deny it. It's all I do. All the time. Every time.
The second someone has some sort of discomfort, mentally, physically, or emotionally, I have to get rid of it and I can quickly start thinking of how. How. I may be a great listener, and I may love to listen, but I really have to grudgingly admit, I'm not "exceptional, A+++" at empathizing, though I can empathize sometimes. I'm not THE empathizing person (meaning an epically skilled one) considering how I am "wired", which honestly greatly upsets me because this problem in my life is my greatest inhibitor during emotional times in my friends' lives.
"It kills a Virgo to see someone going through something and not be able to help them." I cannot agree with this mooooree. Ah ; A ; .. ll|| -tosses topic away-
Anyway~ I'm a helper. I only take control of your problem because I know I can do something about it. It's like a plan; you don't make a plan unless you have a reason why you're planning something, right?
It's actually important .. that people don't stop me, don't snap at me, or tell me to quit it. .. -cringes- Euh ... I think I'd feel scarred if that happened. It's never happened before. I-I mean, if someone doesn't want me too because they're alright, they can kindly, gently, tell me 'they can take care of themselves' or something. One sentence will make me stop. Okay, well, first ask for certainty then let it go THEN stop, but still. (Oh and feel nervous in the future until comfortable, certain, and not doubtful anymore) Whenever someone's terribly, terribly hurt, in the past or now, and they're visibly damaged and emotionally destroyed, do forgive me for being overprotective. I may not realize one can take care of oneself, but it's not like I can't realize it. Lastly, no puppy learns from the owner shouting at them; they respond to support, encouragement, rewards, and positive feedback, and then, after the pet learns, then BOTH the dog and owner benefit. So anyone doesn't want me to help, well, I'll feel offended, and sad, but please do be kind and polite about it if you would like your request to work.
If I had bad intentions, I would be a mean person. I have good intentions; I always do. Otherwise, I wouldn't be finding your freedom from suffering oh so important, I wouldn't feel so worried, and I wouldn't feel such urgent to help.
"I, naturally unbiased at certain times like the following, can consider both sides, people hating and people loving, understand them entirely based on background information, story, or explanation a friend openly gives me, and combine them in the mutual compromise that results after some mediating. It may look like I'm a (big/constant) interferer -apologetic smile- but you misunderstand, sir/madam. I'm a helper. I can't deny it. It's all I do. All the time. Every time."
I wouldn't do anything if I didn't think I could do something.
If I could do nothing about it, I wouldn't have bothered to "interfere."
It's like the episode "Midnight" in Doctor Who where the Doctor "interferes". ((I'll be talking about the episode from memory; I won't need to use the internet to search/watch the episode. I've seen it three times c'': Ah, and now I feel like watching it again! <3 Boo, the negative side of us humans! x'D))
The passengers notice The Doctor possesses some sort of "sick" glee when it came to the newly arrived and uninvited creature/organism that was fully capable of killing them all.
-innocently blinks once in surprise- Well, pardon his interest, really.
He's quite fascinated. He can't help it. It's something's he's never seen before and he would like to know much more because it's cool. Never mind the terror that was happening in the background, the alien was the news! And, oh~, the rescue he would soon initiate would be fun to do.
And, of course, people misunderstand again throughout life ~
( ;; )
They shout, jabbing The Doctor, claiming he's twisted because he feels excited that they're all in deep danger.
Well, sort of and sort of not.
A little, but not in that way.
OH~! Dx They don't get it!
(If I'm vague in explaining myself, in The Doctor's POV, again, here's a translation: "Sort of and sort of not riveted about the present adventurous situation. I'm a little enthusiastic, but not about your possible deaths!" wink I don't know about The Doctor, if he's excited because he's intrigued about how he can save them, so maybe it's just me. To him, the new life form is irresistible, albeit dangerous, and, to others, it appears to be a strange and risky interest. I don't know about The Doctor, but I love hearing about people's emotional troubles in a similar way as he does when encountering new life forms and people in physical trouble because one cannot exist without the other. It is a scientist's or a researcher's joy to know more things. A new thing is a play thing to them. That doesn't mean the person is creepy or twisted. (Although Mayuri in Bleach is scary when we first see him, when he talks about Uryū and Orihime coming to his lab when they first meet, but when he wants to experiment on the Bounts, that was less frightening and he appeared more human to me > - <;;. C:> ) It just means the person feels really interested in something. The person is not creepy, but human and sane, so normally, no one will act like how Mayuri first did/does (o o e)ll|||;;;;;;;.
When I first hear something's bothering someone, I feel a little animated, but it's not at all towards your sadness. My awakening is towards something else. Thus, I feel sort of and sort of not thrilled when I first hear something's wrong. People may think the happiness is about their pain, but it was never that.
To plainly put it -- and to repeat myself because I do not know how to directly/bluntly and quickly say what I mean -- I do not feel happy to see you in misery or to see you upset, no. I feel happy to hear your delectable problem because of how much I can eradicate it. It's .. sort of fun, the obliteration. When one knows how to solve something, is one not allowed to find some pleasure in solving it? Right after someone explains their entire situation to me, I love it. My personality changes to a serious one, but I love the ending when I actually solve it, as opposed to offering advice, offering advice, offering advice, and not exactly getting far. I love hearing someone's problems because of how much I can do - I see this. I assure you, I like that a problem exists, now the problem exists and it's bothering you. So if I were in the Doctor's position ... they would probably think the same wrong things towards me.
Who made him leader, demanding everyone listen to him?
Shouldn't the Professor take control? He's been on this
journey more than once and he's done research on the
planet, its beings, its atmosphere... This man, "John"
the Doctor, is nothing; he's got nothing but his clothes on
his body and the words that come out of his mouth. Just
look at him! He can't be telling the truth with that defense.
With this frustration, the yelling, and the clear opposition, he can't work. He can't help them; he can't save them. He knows something -- oh so well -- that they do not, but he does not tell them the more important things he knows because he does not need to, nor does he have the time to. The passengers a-s-s-u-m-e The Doctor is some guy while he is desperate that they LISTEN to him because he knows what he's doing - if only they would listen and if only they would trust him. Things would end sooner if the others didn't go and complicate everything by conflicting and opposing a stranger, provoked by emotions of fear, mistrust, and anxiety. The Doctor wouldn't order the passengers around if he didn't have a good reason for doing what he does. Since he knows the consequences of their actions, since he knows how to solve the situation, since he knows - !
But no. Things just have to go awry.
'What are you all-? Stop it!' Words that come out of his mouth.
...That's not even a real name! Who are you? How did you
get here without a pass? You're with her! You were talking
to her earlier, I saw it; we all did! You knew who she was,
you knew this would happen-- No, I was trying to find out
all the information that I can!-- You're in on this!-- Stop it!
'Your fear is easily blinding you! Can you not realize!?'--
You're going on about how we should listen to you. WHY?
Why should we? You won't even tell us something as easy
as your name. You've been so friendly with everyone, but it
was all a distraction, I bet. Who said you were allowed
to lead us? You're one man with no credibility and no name!
-seriously looks at, with complex understanding in his eyes-
BECAUSE I'M CLEVER! You need me. Right now. All of you!
Now, listen. Listen to me very carefully. This organism...
Shouldn't the Professor take control? He's been on this
journey more than once and he's done research on the
planet, its beings, its atmosphere... This man, "John"
the Doctor, is nothing; he's got nothing but his clothes on
his body and the words that come out of his mouth. Just
look at him! He can't be telling the truth with that defense.
With this frustration, the yelling, and the clear opposition, he can't work. He can't help them; he can't save them. He knows something -- oh so well -- that they do not, but he does not tell them the more important things he knows because he does not need to, nor does he have the time to. The passengers a-s-s-u-m-e The Doctor is some guy while he is desperate that they LISTEN to him because he knows what he's doing - if only they would listen and if only they would trust him. Things would end sooner if the others didn't go and complicate everything by conflicting and opposing a stranger, provoked by emotions of fear, mistrust, and anxiety. The Doctor wouldn't order the passengers around if he didn't have a good reason for doing what he does. Since he knows the consequences of their actions, since he knows how to solve the situation, since he knows - !
But no. Things just have to go awry.
'What are you all-? Stop it!' Words that come out of his mouth.
...That's not even a real name! Who are you? How did you
get here without a pass? You're with her! You were talking
to her earlier, I saw it; we all did! You knew who she was,
you knew this would happen-- No, I was trying to find out
all the information that I can!-- You're in on this!-- Stop it!
'Your fear is easily blinding you! Can you not realize!?'--
You're going on about how we should listen to you. WHY?
Why should we? You won't even tell us something as easy
as your name. You've been so friendly with everyone, but it
was all a distraction, I bet. Who said you were allowed
to lead us? You're one man with no credibility and no name!
-seriously looks at, with complex understanding in his eyes-
BECAUSE I'M CLEVER! You need me. Right now. All of you!
Now, listen. Listen to me very carefully. This organism...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm exactly the same.
(The way the Doctor has strong faith in humans no matter what they do,
being a determined person, I feel the same. Maybe I look blind to others,
but I would find my faith true. I can see what someone's capable of;
humans are giants and not ants to the Doctor, who's seen just about everything.)
being a determined person, I feel the same. Maybe I look blind to others,
but I would find my faith true. I can see what someone's capable of;
humans are giants and not ants to the Doctor, who's seen just about everything.)
Because I know something I don't tell people about, I often feel, on my side of the argument, that my way of thinking is so obvious and I feel no reason people shouldn’t misunderstand me. When people misunderstand me, it's shocking and then it's a little difficult. I can't and don't tell people the details. With the knowledge in my head, I can’t output it and I have to, or the person won’t understand what I mean! The impossibility of revealing my thinking combined with this urgency causes severe mental stress within me. As a result, one thing I can calmly yet angrily think about is ‘you just do not understand.’ My mind can still function and form thoughts but all I would be able to say out loud before being able to speak is, “You don’t understand.” And they don’t understand. They really don’t.
You feel a little helpless, a little certain, a little weakened, a little strong, and a little doubtful, but you know it's only a small obstacle you will overcome. In my opinion, the passengers are stubborn, oblivious, and a pain. I would listen to The Doctor for a very simple reason. He wouldn’t say it if it weren’t important; he wouldn’t be like that if it weren’t serious. I would believe him just as I would believe any other friend who would, one day, claim someone I know is not what they seem but provide no explanation; the person wouldn’t act like that if it wasn’t a serious matter. That’s why I would listen. I wonder if anyone else would, given their personalities, any real life person. I actually don’t know. I would like to, though. The fictional passengers were sure quick in letting their emotions cloud and govern their minds. I fear a lot and I panic too, but that doesn’t mean my reaction can be “magically reserved” some other dangerous time. I would have loved to help by attending the same tour, but, then again, the episode wouldn’t show the “hopeless” side of humans if you add someone who would have cut the drama and terror by having the problem last shorter than it originally did razz
I'm glad someone knows how hard it is to work under strong opposition because they don't understand and they aren't giving you the opportunity to explain yourself. They leave you no choice. Eventually, you'll be unable to take it. The noise, the obvious, the emotions, the correctness, the "foolish" people who so strongly insist on something you can no longer listen to. Eventually, you'll yell from impatience and, in one short reply, to finally get their attention. Eventually, you'll jolt them; you'll explain every little single detail as to why they should even listen to you, let alone consider your words, contradicting everyone's thinking and making them realize their emotional thinking was far from a suitable response. And so forth. Another example can be the Silence in the Library. The Doctor shouts that everyone has to leave the premises right now. No one moves. Some people ask questions. The Doctor, aware of the possibility of opposition, remained firm and didn't explain, or maybe tried to but not fully. No one really listens, do they? Does one have to scream there's a monster coming in 6.4 seconds and you have to move your feet unless you want to live a shorter life than intended? Does one really have to explain reasons when one is in danger? They're simply in danger. Shouldn't that be enough reasoning? The person knows how to save them. Shouldn't that be enough reasoning too? Humans need proof. 'Tis a necessary but sad thing; they don't believe someone unless you have written documentation or a verbal recording, or whatnot.
Being independent and self-sufficient, I know what I'm doing and I accidentally never let anyone know what I'm doing. People have to assume what I have to do (ie: homework), I will do because it's in my mind's agenda. I don't explain myself, and I'm a little sorry towards everyone. If it's really important, I do explain, but I don't find it such a problem because I can explain after a person thinks something else, like I did with my parents. They usually never know I already planned something. I know they remind me of things so I don't forget, like an appointment or a chore, which I like that they continue to do, but also, I already made my schedule so that I will finish whatever it is. But I never told them that. I went ahead to accomplish...and move on with whatever (ie: go watch TV after it's done), like nothing happened, and my parents would be "left out of the loop" while they watch me apparently do nothing, when I already did do something. They just didn't know.
I don't mean to act like that; I just do it .__. ... All the time .. o o e;;;. Probably only to my parents. I highly doubt this happens with anyone else. No one else keeps track of me like my parents do -- the only other person who keeps track of me is me -- so there is no reason for anyone else, other than my parents, to be left out of my schedule. If a friend and I plan to hang out, I happily explain when I'm free and why I can't on whatever days until I'm done explaining (lol). So no one else should be left out, unless, of course, someone actually wants to know what I'm up to all of the other times and not just what I'm doing on one specific date so the duration of hanging out on that day can fit in our schedules.
(That ... I'm afraid I don't give out to just anyone. I'm a private person even when my activities aren't important. And I could shy away so .. ;;;. N-Not really a good combo. I don't let strangers know what I'm doing. A friendly person, a classmate, or an acquaintance. I really only let a FEW people, my few true good friends who are capable of staying friends forever with me, know what I'm doing - and those people, I don't hold back c: I know I don't have to c': Yay for security and certainty in solid relationships >, v> heart )
Back to the previous paragraph, before the small interruption:
And that's why no one really understands. I don't tell people and I subconsciously choose not to tell people. It's easier. It may cause difficulty, but it's easier than explaining every move I make lol. If I lived on my own, why would I have to let everyone know of my to-do list? Do I have to write one out to show someone? No, really, I-I don't know the answer. Would people like that? I mean, I don't find it a very good idea. It's not very useful. No one needs to know what my schedule is like, especially if they're not even included in it.
I really don't mind suddenly telling the person, "You don't understand(!)" then explaining the heck of it cause then I'd know how to explain/what to say and how to say it. If I tried to explain at a normal time of a day, all other times, I wouldn't be able to.
I know something, but I sadly don't let anyone know that I know and I don't let anyone know what I know. I don't tell people everything; this is a permanent action of mine where there is no choice because it just happens to me. (Until I finally explain my thinking myself sometimes)
"I don't tell people everything." Depends on the 'everything.' Is it knowledge or a biography? It differs from letting someone know who I am, something I can choose to do or choose not to do, because even if I don't tell people "everything", the information on "who I am" is different information than that of "what I know".
.. Actually, in both cases, it doesn't matter much; there's no urgency to let people know either of them, not knowledge or a biography. If one doesn't understand, one just really doesn't understand and the situation become troubling. It doesn't matter what the "everything" is, after all . o . I just stress for the person to listen. I really wouldn't act like that if it wasn't something important. Explaining myself will sound dull, droning, and unappealing so I don't explain. I rely on the person to trust me when I can't bring myself to explain myself or my reasons, or listen to me when I need to tell them something.
Because no one's aware of what's really going on, per se, whenever I need to tell someone something, or explain something, it's always sudden to the other person. Or maybe I point out something and that too is abrupt. I'm quiet and I know more than your ears hear me say out loud. I'm sorry; I usually feel no reason to (excessively/unnecessarily) elaborate. But hey, at least this is one wonderful similarity to a character I like-like in a series ~ (FINALLY able to explain the similarity. Gosh. I hope it was okay! My text looks somewhat poor Dx Please say it worked? I'll get to the character in the future C: ... Eugh/// on second thought, whenever my embarrassment goes away. I'll be fine after I forget about it! 8D)
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After the entry was finished, I thought I should add this last topic because it wouldn't fit anywhere else if I made a new entry. It's tough to connect two entries together, especially if you don't know how readers will read your journal. They might only read one, read none, or read half of both. In all uncompleted cases, I wouldn't make any sense if the reading's not so finished
Last topic: 'Character Development'
I read some people don't love Fluttershy. Aw, I'm sorry she's not so likeable o ~ o Anyhow, apparently, some people can only see her as "kind, shy, and passive". The person said that one could literally sum her up in those three words.
I wonder -pauses- ... -relaxes and continues- I wonder what people think, of me. I never realized I'm a mysterious person until I saw I actually don't say much lol. I tell people useless stuff that mean not much, if you get what I mean, and the only people who do really know me are few friends, and even them, sometimes, they have to rethink what they think of me. No one really knows who I am. I appear impossibly sweet, polite, quiet, shy and kind. But that's all most people see if they're one of the about-seven-billion-people on the planet. No one really knows who I am. My parents know me better than everyone and, most times, even my friends. But my friends know me better than my parents on some huge things. And altogether, they both aren't close to how much I know myself.
-apologetically smiles- I'm sorry. I wanted to make sure I'm not mistaken. It's not like I don't have any "character development" and it's not like I still act the same as always. I just choose to be like that. I choose to be happy. To be nice. To remain the girl I am. It's my default. Evidently, it would look unchanging.
So don't be mistaken. c: Please?
What you see is what you get though; don't worry, I don't mean it like that!! I didn't mean that I'm not what I seem to be! I really am nice, caring, loyal, helpful, critical, worried, and all that, everything you've seen me be. I'm honest; I can't be anyone else but myself because I just can't. I know no other personality lol and why should I be someone else? I am who I am, but I can make something about me momentarily not exist to someone, according to the people I'm with, for example.
Unless I can't help it (ie: school grades), I always try to minimize as much differences as I can between who I'm with and myself. If I'm with Asians (Chinese/Korean/Japanese/Taiwanese), I'm Asian and if I'm with a non-Asian, I never dare to talk about anything Asian. (And it hurts more when someone won't talk about it cause it feels like I'm not allowed to be that way when around the person; I have to stay on the non-Asian side of things as much as possible for as long as possible, perhaps forever, or at least until someone asks one question, suddenly loosening the whole dam and letting me know I can be myself.) It may sound like I'm not necessarily being myself, but I am myself. Some things are or one thing is simply switched off, according to my situation/surroundings. I'm white-washed so I don't necessarily have to start talking about something Asian and I'm Asian so I don't necessarily have to talk about something non-Asian either. I adapt to my surroundings, like being with my immediate family for days straight, or even just three days, or too long over a summer every year, I'll be very comfortable and I'll be, you know, just, I guess ... Asian, to an extent. I'll still be recognizable to friends if they were to see, but there may be a feeeew itty bitty things that may surprise them because with my parents, I don't need to constantly watch who I am; in fact, it's quite the opposite. My family always knows me and they love me. I don't conceal who I am with my parents and sibling (and aunts and cousins, etc if including other family members) whereas I may conceal who I am with my not-close friends and/or friends. With my family, I never had to hide myself ever since I was born. I can be free.
My parents are the only people I can feel no guilt to be briefly, childishly or seriously, mad at before letting the issue go an hour or so later because I'm not stuck in being "an only sweet girl" with my family. I don't have 'sweet' as my only characteristic. (Have you seen my profile with a list of adjectives/traits?) But for everyone else, I am stuck as that. Nice, sweet and nice, sweet. Because of this, I can't truly be mad at the remaining population. My friends, sure, I suppose, a little, but they are different: I forgive them, and they don't do anything that actually bothers me enough for me not to forgive them.
Except my parents, everyone else, including my friends and other family members, if I'm bothered too much, I cannot exactly be mad at them. I don't like feeling mad at people, so I may be bothered, upset, or annoyed, but not necessarily mad. However, that's not why I don't get mad. If there is ever one person who bothers me enough - I would have to feel like I'm super glued to my niceness to not be able to raise my voice, and relieve my tension; I will, but the problem is, I can't. Not exactly, anyway. In my mind, I will feel a protruding problem with telling the person because I feel I'm being mean. This is the only reason I can't be mad at everyone, except my parents. This also explains why I'm usually passive because I don't want to sound mean. I'm glued. Gluuuuued. It's a little sad ... nn, but I manage. I'm still alive, aren't I? C:>
I'm humble, quiet, but I'm not mean. I know if I'd like someone to not pat my head or something, or call me a name I don't like, but I hate having to tell them so. I feel guilty after I do it. I feel I did something wrong or I didn't do it so nicely, which is correct since the entire action isn't a nice action itself. It's a problem. When these things happen, I would like to tell someone something, but I know I don't have the patience to perfectly execute a sweet version. I would like to tell someone something, but I don't want to upset them by bringing them something that they won't like to hear, which I know they won't. I don't want to tell them they're doing something wrong and ruin their mood. I would like someone to stop, but I don't want to be nice about it because I think it won't be effective or make the person attentive. Neh, either way, whatever happens in my head, it's usually like this: sudden news to the person, I frown and appear visibly displeased for once in the person's POV, and the person obliges and there's this small uncomfortable moment after. All because I suddenly "snapped". Not a true snap, but a mood whiplash to the other person nonetheless, because it's a surprise to the person I feel that way. Usually people may not notice until it's too late or whatever; Virgos surprise people like that, sadly. It's like "Do you think I can't feel" thing, but different 3nodding C: And, please, don't think of me when you read that. I won't forgive you e _ e "Thinking of me when you read that" - the action, its existence and its possibility, will creep me out to immeasurable quantities and I will never be able like it or tolerate it. "Thinking of me when you read that" cannot happen in your head, okay? gonk For the sake of my mental/emotional health, doooon't. J-Just read while feeling emotionless!! > A e Or, heck, don't read! e o e ~ Darn it x Ae Tell my friends I love them~~ GAH -pretends to die ... for fun and comedy- .... -sit up and waves her hand- I'm alright, I'm alright, but seriously > > I will ... maybe .... a little? I may regret .... but then again, I mostly forget everything now, having moved on, so if I don't remember the possibility and that it could exist, which it doesn't, then I'm good for the rest of my life after this second o u o d. I'm not in denial, it just doesn't exist to me. Wait a second, that's denial. Okay, so, it is denial. But nng -sticks her tongue out- hmph, I don't care > u>. It's not in denial if I never thought of worrying about what people's mind would be like after the website. And I never would have thought of it if I hadn't included the link =) So there ~ Nothing's wrong xD;.
I don't let out everything. It's just, I don't reveal every single thing so that my mind is understandable to someone. To understand, think Kisuke Urahara. He knows more than he lets people be aware of, but that doesn't mean he's not what he seems. His outward personality is still him. His playfulness, cheerfulness, and seriousness are still him. And his borderline slyness is him as well. It doesn't mean he's a deceptive person at all.
Back to the "literally summing up Fluttershy in three words", the "permanent shyness/kindness/passiveness" in Fluttershy where it doesn't seem she'll ever be anything else (at least not for a while ..) and my "permanent sweetness".
I'm similar to Fluttershy so I was a little scared about being wrongly thought of xD; sweatdrop Uh, but now everything's explained! 8D Things should be fiiiiinee ~~ ^ u^ -leaves to continue watching Bleach- I've got to hurry xD; I feel I'm slower than when I watched One Piece but I don't remember the rate xD.
Ie: if I took two-three months to get to two hundred episodes for One Piece and it's been a month and I've gone to eighty, I don't know if that's slower or quicker; but what I do know is 80 versus 200, I appear slow, lol.
So whatever the rate, I'm still going~ I'm at 162. I've got to get to 200, if not 266. Cause then I watch 266-366 on a Bleach app at night if I want to c:
