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I shall gladly give my life up in order to save the life of a friend.
Why bother ? I'm not useful.
I don't know what to do anymore. Honestly, I feel someone should just shoot me because it'd be better for everyone.

I'm horri-, scratch that. I pretty much can't and I mean CAN'T do math without getting frustrated or overwhelmed. Honestly, it's like I'm dyslexic when it comes to numbers and that's it. I mean, I take in the numbers to a problem, but then it's like my brain doesn't know what they are once I read them, especially if it's a math problem. Not to mention I can't handle dealing with money. (As in making change.) I mean, I can do it if someone walks me through it, same with math, but otherwise I can't really do it myself.

So needless to say I am s.o.l (s**t outta luck) if I ever attempt to get a job. I have no high school diploma, I can't deal with money or math. Honestly I'm not useful for anything. Hell, thanks to one of my uncles, my back's ******** up, so any kind of factory job that requires lifting is out as well.

My life is s**t and to put the cherry on the cake, my mom reminded me that I have ODD, which means I can be perfectly fine one minute, then be pissed at the world the next, add that with ADHD (Attention Deficient Hyperactive Disorder) and you have a hyper person with a short fuse.

Needless to say, I honestly don't think anyone will be able to deal with me for any great length of time, not like my parents have and even then, it's been iffy.

So with all that rolled into one, I'm pretty much useless for everything.
Can't get a job because of the math/money thing.
Can't be a mom or anything because of the ODD. (My ADHD is pretty much under control.)
Can't really be a housewife either cause I can't do a damn thing right.

So yeah. I'm not worth a damn and honestly should be shot.
After all my sole purpose in life, caring for my handicapped twin sister, is gone now, which leaves me with nothing that I can do.

God I'm such a loser. Why does anyone put up with me ?
I mean, my parents deal with me because they have to, cause I'm their kid, but why does everybody else put up with me ?
My boyfriend, friends, family ? Why ?
Oh wait. Family only deals with me because they have to.
Other than that, I don't know why my boyfriend, and friends put up with me.
I'm not useful for anything.

Not to mention, it wouldn't be fair to whoever is crazy enough to pop the question, to have to deal with my uselessness.

I mean, sure I can stay with my parents for the rest of my life, but when they pass away, I'm really S.O.L. I don't know what I'll do when that happens.

I wish someone would just shoot me already and make everyone's lives better cause then nobody would have to put up with useless me.





 
 
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