Working, working. All of it, it feels so good. I feel like I am contributing to something so big, and helping to many ghouls and guys to a better future. But, it's been taking up alot of my time, and makes me a little distant from my ghouls and boos.....and I have to say, i'm ashamed. I guess all this project and experiment stuff has taken me away from reality and made me think I was in my little world of gears, chlorine, and ibuprofen. I don't remember the last time I even drew a real portriat of anyone, or listened to real tunes, or even danced. I've just been stuck in a lab coat, and jeans with all types of chemicals and things all around me. I'm so ashamed. Dede, Jack, Kai, I barley spend any time with them anymore ever since i've been working on this. All I do is go to school and see them, all the other extra time is for homework and M.O.M. This robotic mother unit.....it's getting hard. I oringinally made it for Kai and Mr. Mehra because...well..besides me and Dede, theres no women at their house, no one to help take care of them. Kai has moms, but, it's not the same... thats why i've been working so hard. I can't be there all the time with them, and....I barley go home anymore. Mom, dad, and Brandon, oh man, it's been a while since i've spent time with them.
I worked so hard on her, and she's almost done. M.O.M or motherly operational machine, has taken so much time. All of my time I could've spent with everyone else in my life. I...just wanted to make, kinda like a late birthday present for Kai. I've put so much work into her, to make her just like a mom should be, and let Kai and Uncle Mehra have sorta, like a real family. But the sad thing is, with all the work i've put in her, she can do everything except one thing. She is not capable of processing love. She cannot feel it, or express it in anyway, she's just nice and motherly, doing things a mother should. It's so sad, i've tried to hard, but......I can't do it.
Oh man...my tears are starting to damped the ink and paper, I get so over emotional about this stuff...I think...I just wanna go to sleep now. Yeah just take a nap....
Goodnight
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