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I am extremely depressed I may even regret writing this.

There are people in my life that annoy the hell out of me. I'm sure a lot of people have others to deal with that they despise as well. I have loud and stupid friends. Friends. They bother me and its sad because there my friends.

Not all of them bother me. But most of the ones I am able to hang out with bother me so much I want to strangle them. Sometimes its OK to fan-girl and be happy about things but some people do so way to much.

The friends that don't bother me have lives that I cannot enter because big parts of there lives have no interest in me just as I don't have interest in that. But those friends don't bother me and are nice people. The loud and annoying friends are nice too but I just am starting to be unable to not tolerate them.


Some friends I get so attach to and it causes them to leave. It destroys me every time when one goes away.

I get so fixated on fixing issues and making sure nothing else is wrong I get clingy on the ideas and those friends cant deal with it and leave.

I beg and say I am sorry so much trying to fix it but they leave almost every time and don't often come back. Months or even a year later I apologize to some again to see if they realized I wasn't the only one wrong. I never get answers back.

I know when things are my fault I take ownership every time. That's why it hits me hard when people leave because I know what I do wrong and it continues happening no matter what.

I explained this to one friend who does not annoy me and he says I am ignorant. I agree, I feel no need to change and don't want to do much to get out of my crappy life.

So I guess my life will remain crappy since I don't want to change nor do I want to tolerate others anymore. The people i am willing to tolerate either don't like me or are too busy with there won lives. I don't have a life I wish I did. If I did maybe I wouldn't be such a social hazard to the world.