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I'm really lonely

I feel... desperate.

I want someone to talk to,
no, maybe that's not right.
I want to talk to Dakuo.

Right here, right now,
I want the comfort of his
words, imaginary arms.

Perhaps he will visit my dreams

I start thinking of what we cannot do and it,
sinks my little ship of hope.
There's a lot of pressure on me-
from my parents and self-
to be in a relationship,
to settle down.
It's stifling.

It's no wonder I fear the future.

I know that I'm a better person,
when I feel possessed,
that I am wanted,
there is someone who worries about me,
I cannot be forgotten,
and when I want to be weak,
there will someone there
to catch and love me
forever.

But that's my weakness talking. Cause I can't accept forever. I suffocate so easily and rebel against being taken care of. I can't really worry about being forgotten anymore cause it's impossible no matter what. And I have friends now too, who want me and love me. So it's my selfishness talking, the one that wants to own someone too. To know that their heart is mine of the breaking and taking. I'm powerful again.