My boss had me look through the camera for more than an hour today, no exaggeration. So... my day without thinking about it or casually thinking about it was ruined. I came home more stressed than before.
Because A. it had to go missing because of Krysta. She was the first root of this problem for not putting a conveyor number on it. B. it must have been me who accidentally gave it away to someone else or lost it cause I remember seeing it that Sunday but after that I have no clue since the other girls and I haven't talked C. I can't talk to Krysta about it till Friday so that's after the customer comes back expecting us to find it. [/ sigh] It's really stressing me out.
My cousins came in tonight from Connecticut or... I should say cousin cause it was only Madeline. Her brother and ... er... dad? went on a man trip. Means tons of time with mom this week. Nerves are on thin ice. She's already giving me the "whyyyy don't you wanna speeeend time with meeeeee" vibes and faces. ********. I just want to go back to San Fran. I want to isolate myself and control my own life. I don't want to feel watched over all day and "protected" by her. Cause.... frankly, she can't protect me from the worst threat - me. SHE TRIES TO AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY! Ugh... [/ chokes on the love] she suffocates me sometimes.
I realize she's my mom. I love her, I do. I just need to vent about her sometimes... my mom is... in a word, unique.
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Fragmented Self who wanders through life like a dreamer and wades through the river of dreams as though it were the only truth left in this world
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