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Disclaimer: I do (NOT) own Evangelion or any references I made in this story. If you know the references are from, get yourself a cookie cuz I don’t have any to give out. Like I would give out MY cookies. Thank you and enjoy! Not the cookies.

Summary: What if Shinji was a docile boy, but looks a lot more than you gave him for. He maybe more trouble than he is worth it. What will this cause? Hilarity will ensue.

Legend:
Bold - scene transfer
Italics - Shinji’s thoughts

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CHAPTER TWO: THE WHY

Still on the car train heading deep into the bowels of NERV…sounds wrong.

Shaken from her stupor, Misato asks Shinji, “Oh yeah. Did you get sent an I.D. card?”

“Uh yeah…I think. Let me check.” Shinji rummages through his backpack and hands it to her.

“Thanks. Here read this.” Misato hands Shinji a book.

“How to please yourse…” Before Shinji could finish reading it, it vanished from his hand. Misato with a bright red blush, puts the ‘book’ away and hands Shinji a book about NERV.

“Oops! Hahaha! Wrong one. Here.” Shinji takes the book.

“NERV. Am I gonna start working here? Cuz I doubt that I can do anything that might help your secret over-funded facility, that might have or have not any plans to put the world into jeopardy. I mean. If you are gonna bring a disaster on to the planet, I might have conflicted feelings about it as I had plans as well for this planet.” Shinji looks towards Misato for an answer. Misato just stared at him with a sweat drop.

“Uhhhh…what?”

“What? I just asked if I’m gonna work here or not?” Misato just shook her head.

“Look I don’t know why you are here. Just…ask your dad OK?” Shinji nods.

“Good.” Misato just looks forward.

“…Who is he again?” Misato face-planted.

“Look! Just forget about it OK?!” Shinji just nods.

After much time going down the tunnel. And many face-plantings. Here we find…

“Sigh. What on earth? Isn’t this the right way?” Misato looks at map with much confusion. While Shinji continues to read the book about NERV.

“I’m sorry. I’m not used to this place yet.” Looks at Shinji with a apologetic expression.

“We’ve passed this part twice now,” Shinji said, still reading the book.

“Hmm,” Misato gave an annoyed look, “Don’t worry. They made things to be put to use, you know?”

Really? Then what kind of use of you do you have here? Besides having that kind of body…oh.

Somewhere else in the bowels of NERV…

“Will the chair person of the E Project Technical Division One, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi, contact Captain Misato Katsuragi…”

“Oh I don’t believe it. Is she lost again?” Said a blonde in a one-piece swimsuit.

And back to our hero…sort of…riding in the elevator…

The elevator dinged, sounding it’s destination reached. The door opened to reveal the blonde in a one-piece swimsuit, who is now known as Ritsuko Akagi A.K.A *Censored*… what the? Damn you Pavlov!

“Uhhhh…Hi there Ritsuko.” Ritsuko just stepped forward into the elevator and the door closing behind her as they continue down into the pits of hell…I mean NERV…NERV…yeah…

“Hmm. Why are you wasting my time Captain?” Asks Ritsuko.

Yeah and I’m an Admiral…hold on just a second. She’s actually a Captain? What the hell! Why is someone like her a Captain? What did she do? It has to be that body.

“You know we are short on time and man power,” Ritsuko continues to beret the our unlucky, yet hot, Captain.

“Uhh…sorry,” Misato clapped her hands together and bowed apologetically towards her. Ritsuko then looks toward Shinji, who hasn’t said anything, just keep reading that book. Really. What’s in the book that is so crucial that he must keep reading it?

“So. Is this the boy?”

“Uh right. According to the Murdok report. He is the Third Child,” Misato answered.

Third child? Last I checked I’m an only child…then again…I don’t know my own father, so he might have…who the hell is he?

“Hmm. Pleased to meet you,” said Ritsuko.

“Huh?” after finally looking up from the book, “Oh sure. Hello.”

“I’m afraid he is just like his father. The gruff and unfriendly part that is,” said Misato.

“My who?” asks Shinji. Misato just face-palmed, as Ritsuko just looked on with a raised eye-brow and sweat drops.

After some time on the elevator. They now on another elevator in the dark going up…really now…

“BATTLE STATION LEVEL ONE…”

“There we go,” said Misato.

“Sounds serious,” replied Ritsuko.

“ So how’s Unit 01 doing?” asks Misato.

“It’s currently going under refrigeration. Using the B-type equipment.” Shinji just continues to read his book…no seriously. Why is he reading it? And how can he read it in the dark?

“Does it really work?” asks Misato, “It had never worked before has it?”

“The possible activation is .0000000001%. Around here we just call it the O Nine system,” Ritsuko answered.

“Does that mean it doesn’t work?” replied Misato.

Like you?

“Don’t be insulting. It’s O Nine as in Oni. A Japanese devil,” Ritsuko replied back.

“Huh,” Shinji replied with somehow interest tone.

“I guess it’s too late to say, ‘Sorry it doesn’t work’,” said Misato with humor in her voice.

Now onto the boat scene. Then into room the dark…yay…

“Hey! Why is it so dark in here?! I was still reading that!” Boy you better put down that book or I’ll…

The lights turned on and revealed…

“Ahhhhh,” Shinji screamed, at a giant face with a single horn in the middle of the forehead, “Aaaaaahhhh!”

“Would stop screaming?!” yelled Misato, “And what are you screaming about? It’s just a big face.”

“But! But!”

“But what?” asks Misato.

“It’s…”

“It’s…?”

“It’s…”

“It’s…?” Misato getting very annoyed, “Just say it already!”

“It’s a horny purple giant!”

“…” Misato just stares at him.

“…” Ritsuko just stares at him.

“This wasn’t in the book,” said Shinji. Seriously man. Did you actually read the whole book?

“You won’t find this in there. This is man’s ultimate fighting machine. A synthetic life form known as Evangelion Unit One. Built here in secret. Mankind’s last hope.

Geez dramatic much? Wait…synthetic life form? What…? “So who built this?” asks Shinji.

“That would be your father’s work,” replied Misato.

“Really?” asks Shinji.

“Correct,” said an unknown voice filled bastardly.

“Huh?” Shinji looks up to see whose voice that belongs to and sees a man in military uniform with an orange tinted sunglasses. “It’s been a while.”

“…”

“…”

After a few seconds of staring…

“Uhhhh…who are you?” Both Misato and Ritsuko just felled down from the shock, while the man, known as the Gendo Ikari, just stood there staring impassively at his son.

“Oh you got to be kidding me?! Shinji. That’s your father. Don’t you recognize him?” asks Misato. Shinji just looks at Gendo and says, “Who?”

“Shinji must have suffered a shock from the time his father abandoned him, thus he repressed the memory of his father.” Ritsuko concluded.

“Actually no. I didn’t repressed it at all,” said Shinji.

“Huh?” Ritsuko looked at Shinji with a questioned look. “Then how do you not know him?”

“Well. Isn’t logical that I wouldn’t know him since he abandoned me like 14 years ago? I was 4 at the time. Like I could remember anything from those times. Hell. I don’t even remember anything under the age of 10. All I remember was meeting up with Uncle. He took care of me. Then he started to get annoyed with me. Said that I should not have been left to him. And told me to stop talking about something about anything. So yeah anyway. There’s no way a child could remember anything from his time at the age of 7 or below as time goes on, more things comes to mind to push things out of the mind and…” Shinji just keeps going on and on until.

“OK Shinji you can stop now!” yelled Misato. “Jeez, how can your Uncle stand you?”

“Move out!” Gendo commanded.

“What? Move out?” Misato looked at her commander with a shocking look, “Unit 00 is still in cryostasis! Gasp! Wait a minute! You’re gonna use Unit 01?” exclaimed Misato.

“There’s no other way,” replied Ritsuko.

“Now wait. Rei can’t do it yet, can she? We don’t have a pilot,” said Misato

She?

“We just recieved one,” Ritsuko replied.

“You’re serious,” was all Misato could say before Ritsuko turned to Shinji.

“Shinji Ikari. You will pilot it.”

“Huh?” Was all he can say.

“But even Rei Ayanami took 7 months to synchronize with her EVA. It’s impossible for him to do it. He just got here,” said Misato

“He just have to seat in its seat. We don’t expect more than that,” Ritsuko answered back.

Oh thanks a lot. I could do a lot more than sitting. In fact there are things I CAN do while I’m sitting like…

“Ahh but..”

“Listen. Defeating the angel is our ultimate priority. If we have someone who has a chance to synchronize with an EVA. Then we have to risk it. You do understand that? Do you Captain Katsuragi?

“Yes ma’am,” was all Misato could reply.

“Now hold on.” Ritsuko and Misato looked a Shinji. “Why was I sent here? Just to pilot this…this thing?”

“You know why I sent for you,” said Gendo.

“So you want me, an inexperience 14 year old boy, into a giant horny purple robot…”

“Stop saying that!” Ritsuko shouted.

“…that has the possibility to cause more havoc than that angel had already done? Not only that. Have you consider the possibility of the death of many that may ensue out of this outcome if you let a 14 year old boy, who knows nothing about what’s going on here, pilot that thing? Also, I may destroy the entire world…not for the lack of trying mind you.”

“What?” asked Misato.

“Nothing! Nothing!” Shinji just shifted his eyes before setting his eyes on his ‘father’.

“So this is all you want me to do?”

“Correct,” Gendo replied.

“Well. I’m going have to think about it.” Misato, Ritsuko and the tech crew just stared at him in shock.

“Wait what? Shinji. You’re just gonna think about this?” Ritsuko asked, looking at him bewilderedly.

“Of course. I have to think things out before I do something so incredibly stupid, that I may kill myself. Like I’m going to do that again. Not what after I did to Uncle.” Misato just stared.

“What did you do?” asked Misato.

“I…”

“Enough!” shouted Gendo. Causing everyone to look at him. “Shinji, you will pilot it. Or you can just get out, for I have no use for you if you do not pilot it.”

“OK. But I still have to think about it. I mean there are still the consequence to think about. And also I do not know the way out of here. I might get lost and having Misato with me is not very insuring.”

“Hey!” Misato shouted out of annoyance.

“So lets see…if I do do it, then…” Shinji started to contemplate on what to do, while everyone started to fear for there lives as there is a remote chance, which getting bigger at the moment, that this is the last day they will live. Some even started regretted for not doing what they wanted to do the most. Like starting a garden, being a father, or at least sleeping with a woman.

While that was going on. The angel launched an attack above NERV, shook the base.

“The angel is here. Will you pilot it or not?” Gendo asking Shinji.

“So if I do do that, then this will…” Shinji continues to think as he ignores his father. Gendo couldn’t do anything but glare and think angry thoughts at him. Gendo activated a communication system linked to the bridge.

“Fuyutsuki, send in Rei.” An old man with grey hair looked at Gendo with a worried look.

“But she is still recovering,” Fuyutsuki replied.

“She’s still not dead yet is she,” Gendo said as a cold statement.

“Understood.” And the link went dead. I wonder what else is dead…

The door opened revealing doctors and a blue hair girl on a stretch cart. Shinji continues to remain oblivious as he still thinking on what to do.

Rei tries to stand but another shock landed her on the ground.

“Ahh,” Rei gasped from the pain. After hearing that, Shinji looks at her.

“What the? Where she come from?” Another shock came and this time a debris started fall on top of her. Shinji seeing this rushed towards her and held her to protect her from the impact…

*Crash*

Which never came as an arm shot out above the two child. Unit 01 left arm blocked the debris from falling onto the children.

“What? This can’t be! Unit 01 shouldn’t have done that!” Ritsuko started to brainstorm some ideas on how it was able to move. Misato was also thinking on it as well.

“Why did it do that?” Misato looked toward the children. “It was protecting him.”

Shinji just looked at the girl in his arms.

Hey. She’s that girl I saw on the street. But why? As he continues to ponder, he notice something wet on his hand. Blood. Her blood.

Gendo just stares at his son with a smile.

“Alright. I’ll do it.”

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A/N: Well hopefully I got better this time. Also note that in the next chapter I will not do an action scene since I don’t know how to do it. I will however be doing short chapters as these so that it won’t overload my mind. The good news is, is that it may be possible to post up new chapters early. As usual Review. Commence bombing run…please be gentle.