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"Nobody remembers the colour of the t-shirt that Michael dressed the day of the tragedy. Actually, it's not something easy to speak about. Looks to be heartless, as somebody told me, the practice of telling so openly about particulars which are very private, and maybe there's no reason to speak about it. But after months of very depressive state of mind, I prefer to refresh my head and turn the page of my life. I think that writing is a good practice, in order to free the mind. My mind really needs to be freed.
I felt that my normal and comfortable daily life got shattered, the night when we found out Michael's body laid down on the pavement of his room, with eyes wide open and breathless mouth".
"He was so young, everybody didn't find the reason that could pull him to commit a so drastic action. In my family, all we knew that he had problems with friends and he was frustrated for his unsuccess with girls. He was shy and not talkative. He prefered to hide everything in the deep of his heart, instead goin out and claiming openly what was turning on his mind. He had huge fantasy, he used to create a lot of stories and imaginary situations. I guess also that he got captive of his own imagination. After time, he had created his own real world, which admitted only the situations and the figures that he allowed to make in".
"Blood covered the pavemente around my brothers' body, and all his t-shirt was red of blood. He had used my father's revolver. He had found out only few weeks before that our father had secretly such a weapon, hidden in the wardrobe. My father was the one who suffered more for this tragedy. It's normal, I guess. He couldn't feel not responsible for having provided the weapon that deprived his younger son of his life".
"The last words that we remember of Michael are some joking words that he said to Christelle, my older sister. Meaningless words, they had nothing to do with the action that he would have realized few hours later. The violent noise, coming from the upper floor, shocked everybody in the house. We dropped in the place, and there was nothing more to do. No ambulance, no doctor, nobody to call. My father got immediately in the street and started to shout. He was too astonished even for crying. Me and my sister understood on the moment that something of terrible had happened, and we saw that our little brother had abandoned us definetely. So we dropped down on our knees and cried, while our father was shouting meaningless words in the street"
"Life has changed very roughly for the whole family. But I don't think that speaking here about my sister's and father's lives would be honest and right, by the fact that it's mainly my perspective of reality"
"Maybe I'll restart to behave as I did before, after some more wasting of time. Now I'm 17 years old. Soon I'll have a new car, and it'll be the same car that Michael dreamed to have, when he would have the age for driving".
 HannahBannanaFoFanna · Mon Jan 31, 2011 @ 01:54pm · 0 Comments |
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