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The introduction to one of the books that I have...attempted to start, yet I got stuck on the introduction. This is what I got so far. Just want commentary or critiques. =3 It is about a demon...since I have taken a liking to Sherrilyn Kenyon's books. It is the first book out of four. Yes, I do love Greek and Latin. I know Latin the most though. - w-
(also presented in the writing fiction area. vote/comment there)
Darkness interrupted Vasilios’ sight, yet did nothing to stop the smell of the putrid sulfur from invading his senses. His lungs burned; eyes and mouth dried up as his ears tingled. The air was thick and encased his nose along with the vile smell; it wrapped around Vasilios’ body like an icy blanket. “Light the candle, boy.” Vasilios jumped at the soft, rumbling command of his father’s coming from beside him. Vasilios fumbled with the matches he kept in a small, deerskin pouch his late grandmother wove for him. His Father lightly growled at his clumsiness, snatching the match away and quickly lighting the long, thin beeswax candle in Vasilios’ small, shaking hands. “Keep it steady, boy!” his father snapped. Vasilios summoned calmness into his hands and the light flickered slightly; he smiled faintly, looking sideways at his father as they stood in the vast, dense, rancid darkness. The flame’s weak light illuminated his face, the subtle signs of his disease taking effect. Shadows deepened the pinched, tight cheeks that were once full and bright. Dark circles, permanently settled beneath his narrow blue gaze, were intensified. Those eyes glared at Vasilios in the dim light, startling him. “Pay attention, boy. I cannot go no further. It would be too much on my spirit right now. This be your journey anyway. Face it alone but come back. When I die, it’s your responsibility to care for your mother. She ain’t as young as she used to be. You hear me, boy?” “Yes, Father,” his voice small yet quivering from either excitement or fear. Vasilios handed the candle to his father, barely moving the small flame. His father stood straight with Vasilios mimicking his every move. “Now you shall become a true member of our clan. You must find your spirit animal no matter what it may be. Be mindful of the time though, son. You must come back when the bright ball in the sky touches the tree tops, if not…I fear for you in that world. It can be harsher than the one we live in. I wish you luck. Now go!” “Wait, Father. How will I know where this place is?” He gestured around them. “It is dark and just a riff. I cannot tell where we are, it shall be more difficult when I journey further away.” His father chuckled at his well placed concern. “You shall know. I will guide you back to my side. Go!” A push sent Vasilios forward through a thin layer of silk that lasted only for a second. His skin burned; his body breathed in deeply as the fresh air filled his lungs. The bright light burned his eyes but was a blessing to have as it lit up his surroundings. He turned, only seeing the green vegetation around him. He could not tell if this was truly the way he had come from, yet he swore he could hear his father’s voice commanding him forward, to do what he had to do, and fast. Looking around again, he could have mistaken every direction for one another, yet Vasilios could hear a stream not far from his right. Animals were attracted to water, like all life. The same as in his world; well at least sometimes. Without looking back, Vasilios sprinted to his right, toward the stream he knew was there. Green vegetation became a blur as he sped by though he knew not how fast he was going. All he knew was that he could out run anything he chose for prey, and some of the predators that chose his same prey. A sharp gust of wind northbound caught Vasilios, slowing his speed as it veered him into a denser path. He did not slow for he knew he had to be quick, swift, and clever enough to find any spirit animal before night fell. At dark, the riff would change positions or disappear. It would take centuries to find one that ended up to his clan’s general area. A risk he was not willing to take. The stream came into view. It was further than Vasilios had previously thought. He could have sworn it was approximately ten strides away, yet it was actually thirty to forty strides. He would need to be more careful from here on out, especially being alone in the vast ocean of greenery. There were no animals drinking at the stream. They must have fled upon his arrival, another mistake. Too noisy. If he kept this up he would only be lucky to find an insect or small creature to connect with. He quietly and quickly back tracked a stride or so away from the stream, making sure that the northbound winds washed away his scent. No animals wondered out. Patience. Calmness. Vasilios tried to focus on his surroundings, to feel out this prey, yet it was his surroundings that distracted him most. Noises rose from all around him. Animals wondered and scampered about him, some large while others were small, given by the heaviness of their steps. Leaves rustled and swayed, dancing and whistling to the wind. Weird communication flew all around coming from everywhere. None of it was known to Vasilios. He only knew the language of his people, his clan’s allies, and those of the humans that sprang up before his time. Casually glancing at the stream, Vasilios saw two earth-deer leap away in fright. Vasilios’ senses enflamed. The energy from the new, unseen animal propelled him forward. He crouched low as he tipped-toed back to the stream. He reached it but saw nothing. Lying on his stomach, Vasilios waited. After a few moments, a long exotic muscular cat-like creature stalked out from the wild bushes around the stream. Its vibrant orange, white, black-stripped fur had Vasilios in awe. Majestic. Powerful. Deadly. Many words raced through Vasilios’ mind to describe the creature, the beast. No words could express the feelings he had toward it; that it had to be his spirit animal. The animal wondered into the stream, probably to cool down from the heat of the sunlight. Vasilios guessed it had to be six feet in length or more, not including its long, swaying tail. The head was huge, white, and predatory with its slated golden eyes scanning the surroundings without looking fearful. Confidence and power flowed from the animal and into Vasilios as admiration. With lethal grace, the cat sprang back into the vegetation, away from Vasilios’ sight. He sat up, shocked into stillness. He had not believed how the elders said that his spirit animal would make him feel when he found it. How his life would feel more complete, more connected to his surroundings, even if he spotted it for a brief instant. It felt…peaceful. With his eyes closed, Vasilios took in this inner peace and strength, allowing it to spread throughout his body, into his soul. Only to be disturbed by the three loud, crackling booms. Creatures scattered, rushing past him and into him. He had to scale a tree to escape their plights. At the top of this tree, all Vasilios saw was green and small dents in its vastness. The booming came again, more to the east than the west where he was expecting it. His father had come through on his promise to guide him back, and none too soon as the bright ball had already started to descend from its resting place. Vasilios smiled and stood upon the branch where he squatted. After he closed his eyes, he jumped off. Arms spread wide, feet together until he felt himself rising higher into the sky than falling toward the ground. His wings had expanded, flapping only once in a while as he glided across the tree tops. Along with his wings, he felt his body transform. His long, brown hair grew out, gently whipping around his face as the wind blew by. The top of his forehead tingled as his horns resurfaced, twisting into their natural state like his nails and canines. His tail grew out, astonishing him with its change from plain dark brown to a cat-like black one. Usually, he was mindful of his appearance outside of his home world. There were tales of his people being killed by the humans of this world or being captured and made to do their biddings. Though now, Vasilios did not heed such cautious since he and his father were probably the only human-like life forms for strides around. A gust of wind propelled Vasilios forward, bringing his mind back to the task at hand. Pumping his wings, he sped up his flight, reaching the place where the booming was coming from. He soared into the silky fabric and smelled the sulfur again. Immediately he landed, the darkness taking most of his sight. “Vasilios! Yios! Son! Where are you?” His father’s voice called to him. Vasilios followed it, trying to track down his father. “Pateras! Father!”
Queeni Ravine · Thu Dec 30, 2010 @ 02:42am · 0 Comments |
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