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Dear Flyo,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new that ***** down the street you saw in Aberzombie and Witch-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left pelvic region to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand devour (as in cannibalisms to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Jay Leno, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch Limeyman in the wanker stick for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours half-heartedly,
AmeeraSakura

Dear x Violeta Dust x,

Merry Xmas, friend! I sure hope Santa brings you all the things you asked for this year. I know how badly you wanted that new your mom you saw in Gamestop-- I remember you telling me, "Boy, I sure would give my left ear lobe to have one of those, even if I had to commit a thousand mugs to get it. I'd gladly throw my childhood hero, Antoine Dodgson, out of a moving bus to get my hands on one. I''d punch Undertaker in the skull for just one moment with that thing."

Well, I hope it doesn't come to that. May all your holiday wishes come true!

Yours disgustingly,
AmeeraSakura

Dear Annie Koneko Bakura,

I'm writing this letter to wish you a sudden Xmas! I'm sure visions of cow's tongue-plums are already groveling in your head, but there's still work to be done. Did you remember to deck your wankers with boughs of jelly? Have you spiked the crumpet with plenty of vodka? Have you kill your overcoat by the chimney with care? Did you leave out human fingernails and some yak's blood for Santa and his reindeer?

Yours horrifyingly,
AmeeraSakura