I can't believe I really cared for that piece of s***! I mean, he was toying with me all this time and now he just threw me away, like a candy wrapper. Ahh, I could kill myself for falling for him! "How ever this turns out, we'll still be friends, right?" What kind of an idiot does he think I am?! There's just so much I'd like to spit to his face, but right now I can't since I wont see him until Tuesday... stressed But if he really, really thinks that I can just pass this by, well here's some news for him, I can't. That's just the way I am, I can't let it go in an instant. I mean, I even cried for him! And man, I haven't cried in... A very, very long time.
♣ Okay, first off I'd like to curse the day I met him (9/10/2009). That helps alot, from now on I will not get out of bed on the 10th of September every year. It's almost the same as Garfield and Monday, except this comes only once a year (luckily, I'd have a lot of absence if it was once every week stare )
♣ Second, I'd like to also curse tennis, because that's exactly where I met him. If you happen to like tennis, well, don't think of it as anything personal, which it is not. I just wont play tennis ever again. sweatdrop Sounds childish? Maybe I'll get over it. But for a long while, I won't.
♣ Third, I deleted all Avenged Sevenfold music from my computer and mp3 player. It reminds me of him way too much, since he's the one who got me into it in the first place... Oh dear god, I just remebered that tomorrow it's A7X's show in Finland tomorrow and he'll be there... Lucky I'm not going! mrgreen
• I wont delete pictures of him and my friends on my computer, because it's kinda like I'd be erasing my own memories (which I would want to do, but I wont) emo
• I also won't destroy the picture I drew of me, my best friend, her boyfriend and him in a park that we all used to go to often. It's a good drawing, why waste it? rolleyes Well, I kinda want to rip it apart, but... It's a good memory too. I don't want to throw everything away. I only deleted it from facebook, since I had tagged all of us in the picture... mrgreen
♣ Second, I'd like to also curse tennis, because that's exactly where I met him. If you happen to like tennis, well, don't think of it as anything personal, which it is not. I just wont play tennis ever again. sweatdrop Sounds childish? Maybe I'll get over it. But for a long while, I won't.
♣ Third, I deleted all Avenged Sevenfold music from my computer and mp3 player. It reminds me of him way too much, since he's the one who got me into it in the first place... Oh dear god, I just remebered that tomorrow it's A7X's show in Finland tomorrow and he'll be there... Lucky I'm not going! mrgreen
• I wont delete pictures of him and my friends on my computer, because it's kinda like I'd be erasing my own memories (which I would want to do, but I wont) emo
• I also won't destroy the picture I drew of me, my best friend, her boyfriend and him in a park that we all used to go to often. It's a good drawing, why waste it? rolleyes Well, I kinda want to rip it apart, but... It's a good memory too. I don't want to throw everything away. I only deleted it from facebook, since I had tagged all of us in the picture... mrgreen
What a mess... Well, thanks for reading this. I really hope I didn't insult anyone who has read this if they feel familiar with this situation, since I really didn't mean to. I just wanted to, you know, express my feelings somehow. *sigh* It helped me alot to write all this down, even if I didn't quite explain everything that has happened clearly... Mostly just my angry emotions that are about to overflow. xp Oh yes, I do have a blog where I write stuff down and people actually read it, but many people who don't have to find it out on the social network might find it and read it and I feel a little more secure writing it down here since I don't appear with my real name. Of course everyone who knows me also knows me as Niramuchu, so it would probably be the same if I wrote it there but well... I kinda want it to stay a little more simple and clean. I only posted lyrics of a sad song there today and I would do the same here, if I hadn't just written a ton of s*** that nobody is probably going to read anyway. mrgreen But if you did, thanks for taking some time. Maybe I'm not so alone in this world after all...
Okay, I'd better go now... I still have a lot of thinking to do about this whole mess. I'll let you know how I feel a little later. 3nodding
