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life is bla lately. started trainging to be a mechanic at work... hopefully a payraise... thinking about working there for 1 or 2 more years makes me wonna kill myself. drab boring job, o how i loath it. thats the kind of work people get into and spend there entire lives doing, and thats something i REALLY dont wonna do... im not a mechanic, i just took the offer for the money... and i have yet to see any of it... still making the s**t same i was before... bullshit.... i hate my job but i try not to think about it too much... clock in do my job clock out, my job doesnt exist anymore. the first 8 hours of my day is a blank, go home enjoy my day go to bed, wake up go to work and clock in, work continues from when i clocked out... day in day out.factory. hm. itso depressing.
i wonna do something with graphic arts, artwork, some sort of cg work, or maby some sort of collaboration with a game or contributing at all to any sort of video game project, video game artist-dream job, DESK JOB-ahhhhwwww what a beautiful combination of words. desk job... mmmm it sounds so good. sitting at a desk working at a computer on some sort of artwork for i dont care anything! lol mmm funnnn.... im 22 years old and it feels like ive already sold my life away to some shitty factory...
im watchhing .hack//sign right now, i miss anime, i used to watch it all the time, i love the dot hack series, legend of the twilight, sign, roots. Roots would have to be my favorite, the only one i dont have on dvd.lol. ive had a craving for roots lately so i was watching some on youtube, lol so thats why im watchign sign now. that opening song is like crack for the ears, theres something about it, i could listen to it for hours.
i bought myself a ps3 for my birthday, thats been pretty fun, played it for the first week now its hard finding time to play it, ive got killzone 2, fear 2, undercover, oblivion, gundam crossfire, and modnation racers. ima big fear fan so ive been goin back and tryen to beat it on hard, which really isnt any harder then normal. lol.
i wonder how much you can put in these journal entries. character wise. no idea...
i stay up too late razz
i think the only reason i stay up so late and procrastinate going to bed is because i dont want to wake up and go to work.... i wish i had some friends who were interested in the video game industry, then we could make some sort of game together and i could be liek the artist for the game, i wouldnt do any of the technical stuff i would just do the artwork lol background artwork, textures, characters skins, that kind of stuff, maby some character, object models and meshes, never really done 3d modelling but i think i could do it, im ok with sculpting with my hands, i think it would be closely the same thing, creating an object.
if there was a game like "The World" from dot hack in real life, i would spend every second of every day playing it, being immersed in another world, anythings better than this one... o how delightful dreaming is, and yet knowing none of your dreams will ever come true is such a bummer...

k im done, im tired. i have to go to sleep so i can wake up and go to hell. for the rest of my life... how do you know that when you go to sleep you wake up as the same person in the same world? maby when you fall asleep you die, and are born again in another world identical to the previous one...