You left, and broke me,
Falling into insanity.
What did I do?
Who else knew?
How long were you going to hold my life?
Why did you drop it on the ground and stab it with a kinife?
Am I that bad?
Did I make you so mad?
I thought I knew what love was,
but now, as I bleed, I know I was wrong. Nobody does.
The floor is still white.
No, that's not right. It's not RIGHT!
I'm bleeding! My heart is drained!
My heart, is it there?!
I can feel pain. I can feel hate. But can I love?
GOD! Hear me, I've had enough!
All those other kids, with their hearts intact,
My life's all an act.
A sham, a lie.
Can I please curl up and die?
Take me away, to a better place,
Anywhere away from her face.
I'm a poor rag doll, aren't I?
You bent me and broke me. I can't find anything, can I just go die?
I wish that you loved me, or at least had a reason.
Maybe, your life should end. Just be done.
I read it in the newspaper, today.
Why did you do it? Why didn't you say?
Why? You went and jumped. Right off that stool.
And, you played me like a fool.
I can't not be mad, but I can't be mad.
Only misery, and suffering that's really bad.
If you were here, I could torment myself with fantasies.
If only you could hear me. If only you could see me.
So many things, unspoken.
So many things, forever broken.
Why'd you do it? Why'd you die?
Hanging yourself, and leaving me alone. WHY?
You had the world. Then, you gave up.
Was it not enough?
What were you missing? Did you miss me?
Why are you so blind? Why couldn't you see?
Now, with the same rope, I stand.
The noose is in my hand.
Do you want me? Or not?
I fought it. Believe me, I fought.
I'm stepping up onto the same stool.
My heart is icy and cool.
Nothing. Numb.
How could you be so dumb?
I slip the noose over my head,
Soon, I'll be dead.
My precious Jasmine. I'll be with you.
I smile, and jump, kicking the ladder. Nothing new.
Then, no breath, I'm spinning. Everything is black.
I hear faint screams. A hand on my back.
The rope lossens. So close. So damn close. I breath in.
I try for a minute, to win.
Then, I let go, fading until I don't hear, or see.
Someone is calling for me.
Someone is crying for me.
Don't worry, mom, soon, I'll be happy.
Don't worry, dad, it'll only hurt a little. It'll go by.
Don't worry, I'll fade away.
A distant memory, a distant day.
My dad is crying, begging me to wake up
I am awake. I've evaded death long enough.
My mom sobs, and screams. Pain and guilt open my eyes.
No! NO! I haven't died.
And my parents cried.
Over me?
Why? Over me? Me?
Their misfit child?
The one that's crazy and wild?
The one that doesn't fit in? Their only one?
Why isn't my life done?
My parents try to make amends.
So, it doesn't end.
My Jasmine, if you could see me.
I am no longer falling through insanity.
I am an artist. An author
A playwright. An actor.
Everything you loved, I turned into art.
Afterall, I have to play my part.
Life gets rough,
But, I gotta stay tough.
Afterall, I gotta do it for you.
My only regret, is that you can't see me, or hear me, when I say this.
I love you, Jazz, and I wish that you were alive. But, it's just a wish.
And those barely come true.
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