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What other course of events could have transpired to bring me to this point? Every time living in the moment, yet so hesitantly anticipating a future I desperately wanted to predict and understand. I wanted to feel a sense of control for that which no person could predict. Every time wanting to believe, but doubting myself and the expectations of others that I might disappoint. By what other course of events could I have gotten here? How can one feel reassured when everything has indicated failure in past experience? Yet, how could it be a stretch of the imagination that this could be real and that I could be looking at my future and placing this aspect into it? I know so little, yet feel so much. I want to believe. I want to know that the future I see is where I’ll be. So much felt, yet so little said.