i drummed my fingers rapidly on the top of my leg, crossed indian style on top of her bed, my annoyance getting the best of me.
"why iz you not talking!" my best friend sapphire demanded. i heaved a heavy sigh and stared down at my knee.
i shrugged and let my shoulders slump.
if only she knew of the struggle that was going on inside me, wanting to comfort her in her time of need, unable to bring the words that would make everything better to form in my mind and fall from my lips.
my brow furrowed and i thought about it, her, more deeply.
i had'nt realized summer was so important to her, her tiny dog, i had thought that the dog was meaningless. my assumption was wrong.
she cared deeply about that dog, more so than i could even fathom.
i chewed on my lip and let my hair fall over my shoulder to cover my face.
in my opinion, dogs were not all that bright.
barking at almost anything that moves, so eager for attention.
easier to take care of though, easier than kids i suppose.
i couldnt see the reason why anyone would want a slobbering animal such as the dog, cats seemed so much easier, independent, loving at times.
way easier than a child.
my teeth slipped from my lips and sliced, blood oozed from my lip and i sucked on my bottom lip until it stopped.
i sighed again and kicked my feet over the edge of the bed, tapping my toes impatiently.
sapphire shot up and began to clean her room.
i watched her, clean her desk off, fold her clothes.
it frightened me, she seemed so manic. it wasnt like her.
i suppose we all have a different way of dealing of things,some flopp down onto beds and cry about it, exhibit A:my brother.
some people just talk about it, cry it out, those kind of people need comfort.
exhibit B; myself.
some people really don't want comfort, they just want to be left alone or just drop it, like they just want to deal with it their own way.
by. themselves.
exhibit A; saphire.
although it hurt a little, stung really, that my attempts at comfort and best friend trying to be there for her had falled flat, i understood where she was coming from.
she wanted distance, i guess, and i wanted to do anything to help her.
anything that i could.
she dropped down onto the bed again and turned her back from me.
we sat there, me brooding and silent, her quiet and solem, for an immesurable amount of time.
a smile slid across my face."boo!" i yelled, slapping my hands onto the bed.
"i scared you," i laughed.
she sniffed and whispered "yeah, you did."
my world bleakened,
"sapphire?" i breathed, my right hand reaching out to touch her arm. she hopped up from the bed and went to sit at the stool in front of her room, by her desk.
"sapphire?" i said again, jumping up and walking to her side. she sobbed and my heart grew heavy. "are you okay?" i asked.
she didnt answer, she got up out of the chair and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. i pressed my lips together into a hard line and ran down the stairs.
i picked up her house phone and dialed my moms number.
she picked up on the fifth ring.
"mom?" i said, my voice cracked.
"yes audrey, make it quick im on the other line with grandma"
i rambled through my short time with sapphire, pursing my lips at the end and trying very hard not to cry.
"you want me to pick you up, then?" she asked quietly. i nodded, although she couldnt see.
"yes please," i whispered.
"alright, ill be there shortly." she said.
i ended the call and drew in a deep breath.
"whew boy..." i whispered.
sapphire pounded down the stairs and stared at me, her blue eyes shiny and wet.
my irritation grew.
all i wanted to do was to comfort her, to show her that she was not alone in this, that i cared for her deppression, but she chose to go on with out me and handle it herself.
tears burned in the back of my throat.
i turned away and choked back the tears.
"my moms coming to pick me up," i said, raising my voice just enough so that she could hear.
it was a moment before she answered,"kay'," she said.i hated it when people bottled their emotions, didnt say what was truly on their mind, didnt just let it out, the world would be so damn simpler if people just didnt hide behind a wall and were just up front with everybody.
i slipped my jacket on and walked out the front door.
i ground my teeth together when she followed me out there.
we talked mindlessley for a while, the she asked,
"why are you being like this?"
i frowned and half the realization hit me.
"i need space," i told her quietly, tucking my hair behind my ear.
"well thats nice." she said.
"i couldnt think of a nicer way to put it, there isnt.." i trailed off, my eyes drifting along with the on going cars.
i was suppressing the awful truth at bay, by centimeters.
a half hour later my mom pulled up, i barley called a "bye saf" over my shoulder before climbing into the car.
"so..." my mom asked.
i pressed my lips together again and ran my fingers through my hair.
"huh?' i asked.
"what happened?"
my mom asked me, watching the tears dew in my eyes.
"i cant talk to her! she doesnt take anything seriously! i mena, i feel more mature than her at times, even though i can be immature too, i just feel like we are too different."
i choked on a sobb.
my mom reached over and folded me under her arm.
"do you think you've out grown her as a friend?" my mom asked, slamming me with the truth.
tears poured down my cheeks and i sobbed, squeezing my eyes shut and covering my mouth with my hand."i dont want it to be!" i wailed. my mom rubbed my shoulder and nodded.
"you love her a lot, i know," my mom added quietly.
the truth was awful, horrible, unwanted.
but it was the truth.
i stared the future in the face and grimaced,
i did not want to live a life with out my best friend.
but sometimes you had to learn when to say goodbye/
should audrey stay best friends with sapphire?
lend me your vote biggrin
charlie_lurves_yooh Community Member 
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