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My father, over the years, has told me various little poems and quips and one liners. i wish i could remeber half of them. Here are a few that i can recall at the moment:

In the days of the travelling salesman ocassionally a salesman would ask to be put up for the evening by a farmer. About a week a certain salesman got home and after having spent one such evening at a farmstead he recieved this letter in the post:

"i am sending you this token
of a buckboard that was broken
and footprints on the dashboard upsidedown
There are spots upon the cushion
that look a lot like pushing
and our daughter Venus hasn't come around!"

To which the salesman replied:

"i'm the one that did the pushin'
left the spots upon the cushion
and the footprints on the dashoboard upsidedown
since i met your daughter Venus
i've had pimples on my p***s
and i wish to God i'd never seen your town!"

Here is another little ditty:

Ladies and gentiles
Monkeys and repltiles
i stand before you
not behind you
to tell you something i know nothing about
When you're dancing with your honey
and your nose is kind of runny
don't think it's funny
cuz it's snot!!

And yet another, this is the mathematical equation for sex:

The heat of the meat is in direct proportion to the mass of the a** provided the angle of the dangle remains constant.

Here's a fun little tongue twister:

i'm not the pheasant plucker
i'm the pheasant plucker's son
i will sit here plucking pheasants
till the pheasant plucker comes.