Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Okay, before I make an entry about how ridiculously awesome/glittery Adam Lambert's new music video was/is (and how meh I was about Gaga's), I have to let you guys know waht's going on with me right now. Let's just say that things are very depressing right now (and not just the whole oil spill either) for me and also starting High School in August sure isn't helping me right now.

~Not So Short List of Things That Are Depressing Me Right Now~

1. The fact that I haven't been able to come out to my family yet since they are pretty much heavily religious and homophobic. I'll go in depth on this some other time.

2. The fact that I can't tell my family that I'm an Athiest since they're heavily religious and because that's the one thing that'll pretty much guarantee me getting kicked out of the house.

3. I've also recently been thinking about how I just don't feel right being a girl. Basically I feel like I'm more of a boy than I am a girl, which is one of the things that led me to cut my hair almost boy short (that has also caused my sister to call me a dyke and other things since she already suspects that I'm a lesbian).

4. These nightmares that I've been having very frequently again that pretty much show different ways that the world could end, but then again I have them in spurts every 3-4 months for an entire month sometimes. They may not sound bad to any of you guys, but they're just so vivid and frightening that I immeadiatly become paranoid after I have one, and sometimes have painc attacks depending on how bad they are. I'll also explain these in greater detail later in another entry.

5. The fact that my grandpa is trying to preach to me every day and telling me to stop dressing in all black since demons are possessing me (lmao), stop listening to all of my music (including music by LGBT artists) and start listening to Christian music (which I already do, well only Skillet and some other metal/christian bands but I ignore the sometimes blatantly religious lyrics and instead think of another meaning behind them), and a lot of other things. That and he's really pissing me off right now but he always has though.

6. Also the blatant homophobia that everyone in my family displays for me to see. It just really sickens me that people can be so full of hatred towards people that have it rough already. Just because you might think it's ~icky and don't approve of it doesn't mean that you can just physically harm someone, or blatantly threaten them and tell them to die straight to their faces. I.. I just have so many feelings on this topic that I will make an entire entry about it and my arguements for gay marriage and everything in that entry.

And those are the most pressing things on my mind right now (trust me there's a lot more but I won't post them).

Also, would any of you be willing to participate in having like a miniature political debate on certain issues carried out by journals/journal comments? I just think that it would be a lovely idea and it would also let us know what not to make jokes about around you or possibly offend you about. Just so that we can prevent any fights. Plus, I just think that it would be fun. So I'll make an entry with my topics that I would like to discuss (if enough of you want to participate in it) and you guys can leave comments on what other issues that you want to discuss, and I'll add them to the list. Wow this is probably way TL;DR for some of you. Oh well lmao. So if you're interested in the idea of a miniature political deabte, then let me know by pm, profile comments, or journal comments (idr care which one you use). Thank yu for your time heart