Tye leaves for Auburn in about two hours. I'm hoping he'll call me soon.
He got a phone, and he has my number. He called me this morning, which made me really happy. He doesn't have many minutes, so he can't call all that often, but he said he'd try to make it around twice a week.
I have absolutely NO idea what our status is. Whether we're a relationship still or not. But he told me he loved me this morning when he hung up the phone. I said it back, of course. I think I might mean it. I don't know if we're broken up. I don't know if we're on a "break". But I'm going to try my hardest to stay in contact with him anyway. I've already started to plan to save up my money so I can go see him sometime soon. Maybe six months or so, when things are settled down. I might even be out of here by then, which would be really goodness. Because then I'd be in Bakersfield, and it'd only be a six hour drive, and I'd totally be willing to buy a car and drive all the way to Auburn to see him. I'd love to get a job first, though. ._.
I really need to focus on my life right now. I know that. I've got the fire burning in my pupils. But I'm also factoring him into my plans. Him being in the CCC and then the Navy'll give me time to get a few things organized in my own life. Decide whether or not I really want to go to college. See how he feels.
Holy Father, please don't let our feelings fade.
I'm having faith in him. Okay, that's a lie. I'm desperately terrified that Tye'll stop loving me. But at the same time, I trust him to death and I know he wouldn't just stop. So I don't know. I'm going to do my part. I'll just have to have faith that he'll feel the same.
Oh, and a little added bonus: I get to see the campus psychologist tomorrow for my panic attacks. =.= Hooray.
Life is very very stressful right now. But I'm going to do my best to struggle through it.
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Mental Cesspool
All the little thoughts, problems, and concerns that I may be dealing with at any given time, spread out for the internet to see.
DeviantArt
Currently looking for competent RP partners, to do fantasy or otherwise epic roleplays. Magic, new worlds, all that jazz. Interested, send me a message and we'll chat about it.
[img:8a4ef5321d]http://o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/fss/c70e82887bb71b62a09459f84a56b7b0/venus+icon+new+1small.png[/img:8a4ef5321d]
Currently looking for competent RP partners, to do fantasy or otherwise epic roleplays. Magic, new worlds, all that jazz. Interested, send me a message and we'll chat about it.
[img:8a4ef5321d]http://o.aolcdn.com/hss/storage/fss/c70e82887bb71b62a09459f84a56b7b0/venus+icon+new+1small.png[/img:8a4ef5321d]
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