This is a list of things my mom gave me and they all never fail
to be true. Leave a comment if you can relate to these truths.
to be true. Leave a comment if you can relate to these truths.
-No good deed goes unpunished
-Leakproof seals, will
-Self starters, will not
-Interchangeable parts, won't
-There is always one more bug
-Nature is a mother
-Don't mess with Murphy
-90% Of everything is crud
-If your feeling good, don't worry, you'll get over it
-All warranties expire upon payment of invoice
-Where you stand on an issue depends on where you sit
-Never eat prunes when you are famished
-Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate
-If you try to please everybody, nobody will like it
-A short cut is the longest distance between two points
-You will always find something in the last place you look
-Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong
-Every solution breeds new problems
-It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious
-An ounce of image is worth a pound of performance
-Never argue with an artist
-You will remember that you forgot to take out the trash when the garbage truck is two doors away
-The race is not always to the swift nor the battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet
-There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to do it over
-When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble delegate
-Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening
-Everything east of the San Andreas Fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean
-Nature always sides with hidden flaw
-A bird in hand is safer then one overhead
-The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train
-Celibacy is not hereditary
-Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold makes the rules
-Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself
-Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone
-To know yourself is ultimate form of aggression
-The chance of a piece of bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet
-No matter how long you shop for an item, after you've bought it, it will be on sale cheaper
-No one's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session
-The other line always moves faster
-Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost ore than you thought
-If you fool around with a thing for very long you will screw it up
-A $300.00 picture tube will protect a 10cent fuse by blowing first
-If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway
-Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it
-You can't be too rich, or too skinny
-Any tool dropped while repairing a car will roll underneath to the exact center
-The repairman will never have seen a model quite like your before
-When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly
-A pipe gives a wise man time to think and a fool something to stick in his mouth
-Never eat yellow snow
-Everybody believe in something, I believe I'll have another drink
-Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it
