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Alot has changed though I wish some things were the same. I've been through alot so it seems. I've always stood by my belief that if I could go back in time I wouldn't change a thing. Well I gotta say that now if I could to back I'd change one thing. I won't say what it is but it happened last year and it has destroyed me utterly. I've tried to cope and it ain't working. I've tried to live my life as if it never happened and it failed completely. People tell me I'll be okay and I'll live and they're half right I will live but as for okay not likely. I think ICP said it best in their song "Suicide Hotline": "I hit rock bottom and then I fell in a hole and I fell through the floor of that hole some more." That's the way I've been feelin since last year. All because of a stupid decision that I made without even thinking it through. So what do I do now don't know but maybe life will give me a second chance. I doubt it and I don't deserve it but who knows maybe just maybe. Ahh who am I kidding ain't no way possible that I can. I've done too much and hurt the one I love so deeply that it's impossible all I can hope for now is that she becomes happy with whomever she stays with. If you know who you are know that I still love you but I know my limits and I know the boundaries I won't try anything but I'll always be here to help anyway I can.
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