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Recently, I've been thinking. I never thought I had changed much in my lifetime, but.... I guess I have. Some ways more than others. When I was little, I thought faeries, elves, and blah were real. I don't now, but I do know I never believed in Santa, or the Easter bunny or anything like THAT. And as I got older, I got meaner, smarter, and more logical. I'm trying to work on being "that kid" again. I liked my old life of reading in the back of the room. So, now I'm nicer. Then I realized I was too social. So I avoided people. That was the hard one. Although it was nice then, the friends I have now are hard to resist. So I can only resort to drowning myself in fiction. I read, watch anime, read manga, and things like that, I even pretend I can fly sometimes, or just hang on my roof. Then, I get to thinking about what I want later or now in my life. I want nightlife, I want alcohol, crazy friends to sneak out with and practical jokes. I want geology and I want cooking, one night stands with no commitment. It changes. I want to be my childish self, but I also want a grown life. I can be childish when I grow up, but then having a "child" sneak out isn't all that great. How so I stop time? How do I become a child again? How do I believe? How do I speed up time? Just, what should I do...?
 rushia chan · Sat May 15, 2010 @ 01:55am · 0 Comments |
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18, gay, and counting.