You know how nearly everyone finds some release of their insecurities and self-hate?
Some people play music, some draw or paint, some act, whatever.
Granted, mine should be playing music, but I think it may be volunteering for good causes.
It makes me feel like I'm worth something, that I'm important.
I mean, I love it too, but it's starting to seem like if I don't do something good for people then I hate myself.
I'm not saying I always feel useless and worthless. I'm actually starting to think my cynicism runs a little too deep...Katie (Fabian) was with me today at volunteering and I let it show, and she was really shocked. I guess people don't hate me as much as I thought.
I suppose it's Self Improvement II premiering this summer, hopefully sooner if I push up the release date.
From now on, I'm going to try to get over my going-on-seventeen years of hate-mongering. It's time to get over myself and merge, as hard as that will be.
Being realistic and being a drag aren't the same thing, and I think I'm moreso the latter at this point.
Let's see how this goes, ahaha.
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I don't know.
This thing is whatever I need it to be at the time.
Currently it's a write-out-my-stream-of-consciousness-to-make-myself-feel-better place.
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Fishy fishy.
Bloop bloop.
Bloop bloop.