When I was little, me and my family used to live on Cayuga street. My mom met an old lady who lived next door, and she wanted me and my siblings to draw a picture for her. Ever since then.. we kept drawing her pictures, and she would collect them all. She liked to give us candy whenever we came over, and she was there when we needed it. Like that time when we got locked out of our house.
When we moved, I began to miss her. We didn't live very close, so we didn't get to visit her. We had planned on doing so.. I asked my mom, but we didn't get around to it.
Yesterday when me and my mom were waiting for the bus, she told me that Elsie had died. Well.. not directly, but she gave off some hints.
I don't know if I have bad luck or what, but.. I never get to say good bye to the people I care about.
Alex Polmanteer.. He was the only one I truly loved. He meant so much to me. He told me that he kept coughing up blood. I was worried, but he told me that he'll be okay. Of course.. that was a lie.
He wasn't on for a long time. Probably a week or so.. I began to worry because we used to talk all the time. My friend told me that she thought he may be cheating. I began to wonder that myself, but I knew in my heart he wouldn't do that.
It may have been a month or so.. but I got a comment from his sister saying that he died. She told me that he said he loved me so much, and it tore my heart. This is one of the reasons why I find it so hard to love someone. To stay in a relationship.. I can't move on and I can't forget. He'll always be in my heart. I never got to say good bye..
A few years ago.. our cat Grace was acting very strange. It may have been the fact that my brother took in a stray cat. That cat somehow found a way to get into my room where Grace was, and attacked her. Grace, it seemed, felt as if we loved Fluffy more than her. As if she was being replaced. She was never the same after that. Me and my mom regret ever letting that cat in..
But one day, things got worst. Grace would not come out of my room. She kept hiding beneath my bed. For DAYS, even. She wouldn't even get out to eat or go the bathroom, so I had to bring it in for her instead.
Well.. My parents got a divorced. I wasn't upset about that. I was actually happy. I didn't really get along with my dad. He's abusive and a control freak. And why would I want my parents to be together if they're going to always fight? I want them to be happy, and I don't want to be the one to keep them from living their lives to the fullest.
Because they are divorced.. I had to visit my dad every year for a month. He usually made it more, which was against the law. So when we had to leave.. I got Grace out of my room. In order to do that, I had to lift the mattress up and pull her out. I closed my door. And when she was out of my room, she began to run like crazy. She ran into the door and everything. She was so afraid..
When I returned a month or so later.. my mom waited for me and my brother to be in the room. And then she told us that she died.. I never even got to say good bye, even for her..
Some people think it's stupid to care so much for a cat, but I don't. She was my first real friend. I had friends before.. but they were only my friends because they were members of the church we used to go to, and only because I gave them things.
I knew her ever since I was little. Whenever I was down, she would come up to me and be there for me.
And now.. I didn't even get to say good bye to Elsie.
I don't know if I should be depressed about that or not. Perhaps I shouldn't say good bye. I may see them again. But I don't know what to believe anymore.
I'm not a christian like I used to be. However I do believe in spirits. I can't believe in what I haven't seen, like God. But anything can be possible, so I won't completely deny it.
You may wonder why I believe in spirits, if I don't believe in God. But I have seen the work of a spirit. Therefore, it's easier to believe.
Anyway. Speaking of yesterday. It was different from the rest, which was what I've been dying for. I'm tired of doing the same things.
My mom had the day off, and the weather was nice out. I brought up "ice skating" because it was a nice day. My mom has been saying she'll take us ice skating in downtown, but she never has. Well this time.. she actually agreed to it and took us!
I only fell down once. It wasn't the first try. In fact.. I think I fell down on the sixth try. It was when I was making a turn. I forgot to put my other leg down to keep me from falling over, and that's when I tumbled over and hit my knee against the ice. I have a bruise.. but it doesn't hurt. It just ached for a few minutes.
Once we got home, we were trying to get into our house. We live in an apartment, and the people upstairs are bastards. This dude who knew the people upstairs came onto the porch. He then pulled out his cell phone and took a picture of us and said "Thank you!"
...VERY awkward. We were the only ones out there besides him, and he aimed it directly at us. We don't even know the dude. So as we were coming inside, I was all.. "What the hell was that about? Awkwaaard." I want to just grab his cell phone and throw it.
So yeah, that was a rather interesting day.
I'm also getting annoyed of a lot of people here on Gaia. I'm so tempted to quit, but.. I know that won't solve anything. There are people like that everywhere I go..
I'm not going to be happy when Valentines comes along. I hope it won't be depressing. But.. it gets lonely once you're single for a long time. I used to like being single. When you're single you can kiss, cuddle, and do all of that stuff with just about anyone, without the one you're with getting jealous. But after a while.. I just want someone who I can love, and they love me back. Someone I can actually care about, but it's so hard to do that ever since Alex died.. I'm so pitiful it's pathetic.
e.e;
Misconstrued Vindicator Community Member 
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