I studied Psychopathy recently. It's a mental condition wherein humans are incapable of feeling human emotion.
Empathy, remorse, sadness, happiness, etc.
"What is missing, in other words, are the very qualities that allow a human being to live in social harmony."(Hare, Robert D. Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of Psychopaths Among Us, (New York: Pocket Books, 1993) pg 2.
It makes you think, when you look into things like that. What am I? Who am I? Why am I? It took a moment, because I know that I do inadvertently manipulate sometimes. I have used people before, to better my own life, to meet my own greedy desires. I can be cold, and calculating........
But, I have cried before, I've felt remorse. Regret.
I have wished that things had turned out differently, I've wished I'd done things differently anyway. I hate who I am sometimes, and I've become someone else over the past year.
I molded my talents, and who I am into a particular shape to be more useful to my goals. But that in and of itself is something devious. To become something, for no reason more than to meet a goal.
But then every human does that, "Wearing the clothes of the souls that we choose."
The word "Choose" We choose our souls. We choose who we are. How often do we become what we are naturally, as opposed to becoming it as a premeditated decision based on what we feel we want.
The question becomes: "Just how human am I really?"
The emotions I feel, are they a trick, a trick to fool others, to fool myself? I hate to admit it, but when I'm holding someone, I'm not thinking about how I love them, I'm thinking about how I feel nothing. How I'm doing it for them..
That's not always the case, but it has been before.
If I'm capable of feeling, and thinking that way, am I capable of being devoid of real emotion?
Ultimately, I'll always answer "No."
But only because I can recall having real emotions, situations that would say that I am in fact human. But, it's been so long since I've had a genuine feeling about something, instead of just going through the motions.
I have been in love.
I have been furious.
I have been ecstatic.
I have been regretful.
I have been mournful.
I have been disappointed.
I have been confused.
I am currently in love.
I am currently confused.
I am currently regretful.
I am currently mournful.
VaughnTophat Community Member 
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