Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Hey peoples!

Sorry that I haven't been on, as well as written in a long while, but.... I have been dealing with my stupid health problems, endless boring school days, as well as stressful/emotionally draining school soap operas. rolleyes

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I have a lot of health issues. Recently I have been diagnosed with Hypothyroidism/Hashimoto's disease. It's basically a thyroid disease. Over the years, it has affected my weight (gained), sleep patterns (I get up at 3 every morning, as you know), my internal temperature, and many others. I kept trying to tell my mom that there was something wrong with me, but as I talk to her about it now, she says, "Oh, honey....no parent wants to admit that their kid has a problem..." I suffered for years as being "just almost the kid who might-be-the-unfit-fat-kid". Here I was, playing soccer, flag football, basketball, LaCrosse, Volleyball, and I was/am a great runner. But I was just this close to not being picked on the teams every time. I have always been self conscious about my weight, so every thing that everybody said about and to me I thought was the voice of the world. But basically, because of my disease, I could be the most healthy, fit person on earth---and STILL be gaining weight. The first week my mom starting putting me on Armor Thyroid Medication, I lost 20 POUNDS. So, I've been missing a lot of school due to doctor's appointments for my disease, my fainting spells (possibly seizures), and other problems.... UGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!! stressed gonk scream stressed

I'm getting to that point in the school years where I'm just ready for the school days to END. Yah know? Just doing the SAME thing EVEY SINGLE DAY....and the monotony of grading math papers...Also, my good friend Hannah has been having trouble with a jerk that she is in love with. Yes, a jerk that she loves. I know him, and he is a jerk. But, I can see why she loves him. He does have some charm, but he .... is.... well, a jerk. He basically "controls" her by holding on to her head and making her walk with him. He's pretty spontaneous and she and I both decided that he has been inconsiderate of her and her feelings. I can see where she's coming from, but..... I think that she needs to let him go. I have managed to let a bunch of physically, emotionally, and mentally abusive guys, no matter how much I thought I needed them... She and I have decided to write a soap opera/play about these dramatic dramas (me, her, the jerk, my complicated love life, and our 1st moments in our high school.) for our Senior Project. Very productive, starting about 3 years before we have to worry about it and all.... rofl

She is a wonderful friend, thought, I love her dearly as a sister. She is nice, caring, sarcastic (all RIGHT!!!), and she UNDERSTANDS, ya know? She just understands. My point of view, and others. I love her! She's awesome. Anyway....

I'm just drained.... Today I came home and just wanted to collapse in bed. Too bad I have to make dinner every night now...I feel like the mom of my entire family. I have to tell my mom that her work isn't so bad, and that there are good people who she works with, and to just look at the good things. I have to make sure that my dad doesn't sleep too long for his after-work nap, I have to mother my 19 year old brother, and mother/sister my 12 year-old sister (who lives down the street...). All this WHILE learning 2 different languages (Spanish and Punjabi), going to school from 8:00 am-4:00 pm, doing homework, and TRYING to sleep. SOMEBODY PLEASE!!!! CAN'T I FIND TIME 2 RELAX!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!? cry


I'm just trying to get through life until my 2-week Spring vacation... in March.... *sigh* You know what, people? I want to sing. I want to paint. I want to draw. I want to knit. I...want...to write. HELP ME!!!!!

Quote of the Day:
"If ya see crazy comin', CROSS THE STREET!!" --Oprah Winfry