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I'm Erika.. Call me Ekai instead..
I'm an ordinary girl, with a little not ordinary life..
I'm technically an American Citizen due to the face that my Dad is one..
I have to go to America by the age of 18..
I don't know why, all I know is that the only reason I'm still here in the Philippines is that I have a Philippine passport..
I've lived a pretty innocent life so far..
I made friends, had enemies, and lost relatives..
But I never expect that the day one of my parents will die would come to early..
Feb. 19, 2008. I woke up 4:00am, Mom was shouting and rushing me to get ready.. We have to take Dad to the hospital..
I was relaxed, we took Dad to the hospital lots of times before due to his stroke.
But I never expected that this time, it's worst..
We made it to the hospital in time..
Dad was fine and concision, yet there was that feeling stirring inside me..
A feeling of fear..
I never thought that anything bad could happen, Dad was strong and he pulled through many things before.. Why wouldn't he be able to do it now?
I felt sorry for Dad when I have to leave him at the hospital with Mom since I had to go to school..
After school, I went back to the hospital with my Uncle. I was surprised when we were going in the CCU.. I was expecting that Dad was only in a simple private room..
As I went through the CCU's doors, I saw Mom sitting beside Dad's bed, with Dad having a tube inside his mouth.. It was for when he has to get suctioned to get water out of his lungs..
Sadness took over fear, even though I saw Dad's smile when he saw me walk in.. I couldn't but help feel sad seeing Dad in that condition.. Was it really that bad?
Days passed and I continued life living at my Uncle's for a while.. When I was going down the school's stairs I heard my name before I could even go halfway through. I ran to our room and saw my adviser there.. I asked her.. "Was that really my name?" My teacher answered back, a little annoyed.. "Of course it was.."
I ran down to the office and asked why, they told me it was an emergency and I had to go to the hospital.. I ran out of the school and looked for a ride, luckily my friend's Mom took me to the hospital.. I went to our room seeing my big brother Lito, my Uncle, and Mom outside my Dad's room. Mom was sitting on the floor crying, I came up to her and she told me.. "Your Dad's comatose.."
I didn't know what comatose was back then, I went inside the room and the doctor told me that my Dad is immobile and unconscious but they believe he can still hear us.. I went outside and sat by my mother's side, crying.. I couldn't believe that Dad's condition came up to this..

Days passed and one by one my brothers and sisters went home.. We wanted to be together to be there for Dad.. They talked to him, hoping that he could hear us.. I didn't since just looking at Dad would always bring tears to my eyes, I couldn't find the strength inside me to talk to him and say.. "Dad, please live.. I love you" When it came to the time that my brother-in-law, that was also a doctor, dreamed that Dad was asking him to stop the medications, we had a meeting on stopping them. I objected but what can I say? I'm a young girl that they believe, doesn't know what's happening.. They didn't know that I was aware of everything.. Me and Mom weren't able to do anything so when the day came that the paper for stopping Dad's medication had to be signed, they passed around the paper.. Knowing Mom could never forgive them.. My brother, Danny, signed the contract and my stupid sister, Emma, even wanted me to read the contract.. Who in the world would want her little sister to read a contract that could end her Dad's life? I mean come on! Was she even thinking? Did she want me to have trauma?

March 14, 2008.. I didn't wake up for school since I wasn't feeling so well.. I woke up in the afternoon by the time classes ended and saw my classmates pass by my Uncle's house.. After that I saw the ambulance from where Dad was confined, pass through.. I got dressed and ran to our house, that wasn't really that far. I saw the staff from the hospital, take Dad out and place him in his room.. Things were well.. Dad was fine and my brothers and sisters went to their hotels to get some sleep.. I slept that night after they left with Mom by my side in the other room.. I suddenly woke up 15 minutes before 4am, Mom wasn't by my side so I thought she was in the other room where Dad was.. I stood up from bed, but before I could get off, Mom rushed through the door asking me to call my brothers and sisters.. dad was getting critical, the heart rate monitor was beeping.. Faster and faster, I called my brother and they went to our house as soon as possible.. But as he turned off his phone, the monitor went from beeping.. To straight. I went to the room to see what's going on, but all I saw was that Mom was on the floor crying.. And Dad, was gone.. It was official, by March 15, 2008.. 4:00am in the morning, my Dad died..

I went through a lot in those two months, I stayed up late just caring for my Dad, I endured back pain, sleeping in those hospital chairs at times I can't go home.. I was able to smile and greet everyone as they came and go at my Dad's wake.. Hiding the depression and anger in my heart.. I was able to act fine and do anything positive, but the one thing I can't do.. Even up till now was accept the face that Dad was gone and that he's never coming back.. I won't be able to see him physically, though spiritually he's right beside me.. But, what I hate is that I wasn't even able to thank him and tell him how much I love him.