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This may be, perhaps a little morbid but bear with me...

Did you know that playing cards have a lifespan? It's true after a while cards will die. Now i don't want you to think that i'm a malicious or evil person but i'll murder a card, right here, now, for your amusement. Don't call the police or anything but i'll show you how cards die.

Alright so you sir, you select a victim...a card that i will murder, in cold blood for your sick amusement.

Wonderful, the eight of spades. Now you had a choice of 52 helpless victims and you chose the eight of spades. Is there any reason for this? Perhaps you stalked the eight of spades and noticed that he/or she tends to leave the front door unlocked? No...you just liked it, very well. i would like you to take this marker and write your name upon the victim. Or otherwise make the victim unique...very nice, from your penmanship it could be assumed that you're a doctor? What does that say? Wichita? Good. And now...and the marker is permanent, rub the ink, make sure it doesn't come off...

Alright and now to murder this helpless eight...i never did like eights!