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My heartstrings come undone... |
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It's buried deep within the past
i hope it doesn't last
It's something i already chased, i already chased
I try to give it all away
But it's never gonna fade
It's something i don't wanna face, i don't wanna face
I know you feel it's all the same
But i promise that i'll change
It's something i already chased, i already chased
You know i'm trying to believe
that you're never gonna leave
It's something i don't wanna face, i don't wanna face
There's nothing left! The fear is gone
Oh, my heartstrings come undone
I will wait for you, pray for you
Before i make my final run
I will stay with you, decay with you
I know i'm not the perfect one
the pain has just begun
It's something i already chased, i already chased
You bring me to a better path
it's everything i asked
It's something i don't wanna face, i don't wanna face
There's nothing left! The fear is gone
There's nothing left! The fear is gone
Oh, my heartstrings come undone
I will wait for you, pray for you
Before i make my final run
I will stay with you, decay with you
This is another one of those journals in which I will speak my mind regarding certain people, speaking as if I were talking to that person directly. Similiar to the last one, I will say anything and everything. It's the best way to clear my mind.
Adam: You are such a mystery to me, one I crave to unravel. The more I talk to you, the more I see different sides of you... it's almost uncanny. I've already told you how my heart has responded to you... it hasn't changed. Well, perhaps it has... but now it only grows stronger.
I realize that you view me merely as a friend.. and I respect that. But maybe, just maybe... one day that friendship can evolve into something worth so much more? Until that day, well.. whether that day comes or not... I'm going to work on finding the keys to the many locks that hide you.. the mystery that devours you is very intriguing, but I am determined to unlock them... I am simply hoping that you will allow me to.
Alex: What happened to the shy, affectionate, quiet boy I knew last year? It's ironic how people can change you so easily- they've done it to me effortlessly. I mean, I AM still me, but I have changed a great deal. And so have you. It sometimes makes me wonder if you are so easily changed, will that affect how you regard your friends?
Honestly, sometimes you frighten me. You'll do something that catches me off guard, and it brings to my thoughts unwanted memories. It makes me feel that one day you would do the very same thing to me... it scares me deeply. And yet, I KNOW you wouldn't do something like that... you never would. I trust you. I put my faith in you... you couldn't do something like that....
Morgan: Oh Morgan... where to begin. It was almost miracle if you said a word to me last year... we got closer at the beginning of this year, especially when you left for boot camp. I was quite upset. When you came back, I wanted to tackle you because I missed you so much. But I noticed something: you changed.
Out of the blue, you started talking to me as if we'd know each other our entire life. Then you started hugging me every day. I don't mind the hugs. They give me feelings of comfort and security, and I need that. But what happened last week? What... what possessed you to act in such manners around me? It confused me... it frightened me... just as Alex, your actions caused past memories- ones I had finally forgotten- to resurface. I felt uncomfortable, like I was in the arms of a stranger... I can't bear that feeling...
Chance: I'm so happy for you... you've got everything going- a wonderful relationship, everything set out for your future, even a child coming. I'm sure you're also under a lot of stress, but know that we are always here for you. We love you Chance, and I'll always be by your side every step of the way.
Nicci: Girl... I don't know where I would be without you. Heh... it's funny how the both of us have gone through nearly identical situations... with romance, every day life... it's eerie.. ^^; But it's so cool at the same time! You are my soul sister, my other half. I wouldn't be in existance if it weren't for you. I love you girl. You mean the world to me.
.... pst... I hope things are going well with you know who. xd
.... there is so much dwelling within our human hearts... it has to be impossible to find solutions to every problem... There's an infinite amount of them, it only seems logical.
"Be strong, or cry in my arms until you cry away the world."
... I can't get those words out of my head..... those words from Adam....
~Kitty
 Broken Advent Child · Wed Feb 01, 2006 @ 08:56pm · 1 Comments |
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