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2009 Is Almost Over. What Have You Done?

Stayed single almost the whole year?
Nope. In fact, it's been almost a whole year for Loki, Nyx, and I having been together.

Were involved in something you'll never forget?
Yes. This whole moving fiasco. I'll never forget it. And the good things that came from it.

Tripped over a coffee table?
Nope. Haven't done that in a few years, actually. Tripped on the bus though. Almost fell.

Came close to losing your life?
No, I don't think so for this one. I always play it safe for the most part.

Saw one of your favorite bands/artists live?
Nu-uh. I've never been to a concert before, and I'm saving my concert virginity for Rammstein. They're touring in Europe right now ;-;

2009: Friends and Enemies

Who are your closest friends?
Nya-chan. Nya-chan, Nya-chan, Nya-chan. Nobody has ever gotten me like her, and nobody ever will. I love her to death, and she means more to me than I could ever tell her, even if I could live forever with an endless generator sitting in front of a computer typing at 75+ wpm trying to tell her. And of course Jesse, who always seems to be the little burst of sunshine I need. And Vince, who is my voice of reason in whatever situation. All of them invaluable.

Did you meet any new friends this year?
Not really. I'd love to have some new friends, but I've been busy re-establishing friendships with old ones. Jesse and I are getting closer, and Nya-chan and I are growing even closer every day. And then there's Vince. Never met him IRl, but he means so much to me too. God I love that guy.
I've got friends. I'm working on keeping them. :3

Did you hate anyone?
Cathy Campbell. And Catherine.

2009: Your BIRTHDAY!

Did you have a cake?
Haha, nope! Nya-chan's family forgot xD

Did you get any presents?
Had the best day of my life. That was the only present I needed.

2009: All about YOU

Did you change at all this year?
I keep changing all the time. The more I think, the more I change, and I think all the time. I've tried to develop myself into a better person. Sometimes it's just happened, other times, I did it myself. I don't know how much more I'll change, but I'm looking forward to finding out. That's what living is all about, right?

Did you change your style?
Working on that one, haha. I want to be more punk/scene. I just need to work on building up my weak wardrobe xD And getting a haircut.

Were you in school?
Yeppers. Graduated, class of 2009, rainbow grad. At least I've got the diploma to prove it.

Did you get good grades?
Not really. I barely passed, actually. I needed to go to summer school to make up the five or ten credits I needed.

Did you drive?
Nope. Everybody keeps telling me to get a car and my license, but the truth is, I just don't want to. I don't trust other drivers or myself. And I don't trust my panic attacks either. What if I have one while I'm driving? I'm scared of semi-trucks when I'm just the passenger. Imagine me being the driver.

Did you own a car?
Tch. Like I could afford it.

Did anyone close to you give birth?
Not as far as I know... NYA-CHAN, WHAT ARE YOU HIDING FROM ME!?!?
(Dat was a joke, peeps.)

Did you go on any vacations?
Nope. I haven't been on a vacation in a year or so. Wait, did I go to oregon this year? I can't remember. If I did, yes. If it was last year, then no.

Would you change anything about yourself now?
I want... I want to be the person that's strong enough to stand up for what she believes. Who will protect the ones she loves at any cost. Who people can look up to and depend on. I don't want to be the cheerful bubbly little ball of sunshine. I want to be able to be happy when I'm happy, sad when I'm sad, angry when I'm angry, and know that it's okay, no matter what I'm feeling. I want to be confident, self-assured. I want to heal from the scars I have that hurt me every day.
I want to be the true me, and I'll let God be the one to guide me there. All I can do is follow that path he shows me and make it through to the end, no matter what obstacles try to stop me.

2009: Wrap UP:

Was 2009 a good year?
I had the best day of my life, and had a wonderful adventure. I have my lovers, I have my family, I finally have my dad, and I'm finally starting to be happy in life.
Yeah, I'd say so.

Do you think 2010 will top 2009?
I don't care. I just want to see it through, to be able to look back and be happy about all the choices I made. No regrets, ever. That's how I try to live my life, and that's how I hope it goes again.

IN THE YEAR 2009 I CONFESS THAT I....

Kissed in the snow?
Not yet. But Loki promised me that he'd take Nyx and I traveling for a little while when I finally join them. Maybe I'll get the chance to spend a Norway winter with them.

In the parking lot? At the beach? In secret?
Yes, yes, and yes. Haha, how could I not kiss them? The moment was right xD

Had your heart broken?
...
Yes. And I'm still trying to figure out how and why.

Painted a picture?
Nah, not recently. I'm no good with paint anyway xD

Wrote a poem?
Once or twice. I don't remember what they were about. Just silly little phrases that rhyme.

Ran a mile?
Probably not, but I did walk several. Proud of myself for that one.

Visited a foreign country?
Nah. I'll be heading to Japan with Nya-chan someday, and I want to see Germany with her too. But I've never left America before.

Cut in a line of waiting people?
No. That's unfair as far as I'm concerned. Golden rule and whatnot.

Told someone you were busy when you weren't?
Yes, to all the guys that hit on me at work. - 3- To none of my friends, though.

Cooked a disastrous meal?
No, I haven't cooked anything dangerous recently. I haven't really cooked, either, except for heating stuff up.

Lied about how old you were?
No. If I didn't want someone to know my age, I simply wouldn't tell them.

IN 2009 I....

Broke a promise?
Yes. I broke the promise I made to Nya-chan about not telling Louis how she feels about being scared of having a boyfriend. I told him, that night that he and I opened up to each other. I couldn't stand it, though. I tried so hard that night to be supportive and try to convince him that I wasn't the enemy. As I saw yesterday night, though, it obviously didn't work.

Lied?
No. I go over my conversations all the time, and I'm pretty sure that if I did lie, it was never anything destructive. I don't lie. Never consciously.

Disappointed someone close?
Probably. And I pray I never do it again, even if I don't know who it was. I'm terrified that I've disappointed Nya-chan, but I'll do whatever it takes to make it up to her if I have.

Pretended to be happy?
Yes, a few times. Nya-chan always caught me though, and I always felt better after she did.

Slept under the stars?
Yes. There was just a roof in between us.

Met someone who changed your life?
So many of them.

Changed your outlook on life?
Quite a bit. And I wouldn't take it back for one single second.

Sat home all day doing nothing?
On my days off. It's relaxing when you make the conscious effort to relax.

Lost something expensive?
Lost a $60 dollar set of dishes. Pretty sure that those weren't "lost" though...

Learned something new about yourself?
All kinds of things.

Tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it?
Mmm... can't think of anything right now.

Made a change in your life?
Made the full effort to be who I want to be. I can be satisified with that.

Found out who your true friends were?
More like reminded myself. I had always known, I had just never thought of it before. It makes me happy.

Met great people?
Yes. A few. I'm happy about that.

Stayed up til sunrise?
Once or twice. I just love being awake at night. I kinda overdo it every now and then xD

Cried over the silliest thing?
Maybe. I cried a lot this year.

Had friends who were drifting away from you?
Yes, and she left me for good. Others I reconnected with, and I'm thankful for that.

Spent most of your money on food?
You crazy? I can't afford to be spending so much monies on food! Ya'll psycho. stare

Liked more than 5 people at the same time?
My friends. What are you implying? ninja

Became closer with a lot of people?
Yeah, my Family. I wouldn't change that for anything either.