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Today...was not a good day.
Not only was in unproductive (was supposed to shoot my commercial today so that I could get some basic editing done on Sunday for my Monday class...but that didn't happen)...I didn't get out of bed until noon.

And that's when the fun started.

Called up my boyfriend and pestered him into taking me to these neat gardens, which was fine. I'm in the bathroom getting ready and crap since I felt like actually wearing makeup for a change when I see my dad in the living room pacing like a freak, looking super nervous and messed up. This...is needless to say...HIGHLY unusual. So I ask him what's up...I get no answer. I ask him again a few seconds later and he responds rather quickly, in his very Long Island accent..."The ******** dog's dead."
And sure enough...she was. I've only seen my dad upset a few times in my life, once was when my grandfather died, another was today. I think it broke my heart more to see him freaking out than to hear of the dog's death. Though, I'm not playing that down any...I loved that dog. It was just odd to see my father act so strange when I'm used to him being somewhat...well...emotionless, I guess. I guess it hit in hard since he loved the dog too and about 5 minutes before had actually been petting her and playing with her a bit.
We don't know what happened...my dad and my boyfriend took her body to the vet and they said they'd call us back on Monday to let us know what happened to her. My dad's suspecting that she had a heart attack or something similar. Though, part of me is terrified that they'll find out that she was poisoned or something. I don't really like my neighbors, but if I find out that happened...I'll go ballistic. My dad will probably be right behind me in it too.

But yeah...it's ******** up. She was fine and what appeared to be a completely healthy dog one moment...and the next she's laying on the ground, not moving with her tongue hanging out. My eyes played tricks on me too, she looked like she was just laying down when I first looked at her, it even looked like she was breathing to me...but she wasn't. Not at all. It's odd how your mind wants to fill in that normal activity, that thing that you take for granted. I've only twice seen a dead body in my life of someone/something that I've cared for, again my grandfather and now my dog. It's really strange...eerie.
So basically the whole day I've been screaming in my head that it doesn't make sense, she wasn't a very old dog, she was completely fine a few seconds earlier and it was ******** up. Though again, I feel bad for my father, he liked that dog a lot, more than I think he'll ever admit and to suddenly have her drop dead like that has got to be bugging the s**t out of him...I know it's eating away at me, at least.

I have no idea why I'm ranting about this in my Gaia journal, no idea why I feel the need to vent here in typing. Maybe I want sympathy. Maybe I want a little "I know how you feel." Maybe I want some well wishes for my father...I don't know. I don't care at this moment, either. It's late and I feel icky.

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