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i feel sick.
just half a year left...i can do it.....i can....it's always been just a few more years...now it's just a few more months...i can do that.......
-sigh- i really wish mary was here......i miss you mary....u'd know what to do....you know...i saw your sister the other day. the oldest one. she's gotten real tall. i think two kids now...haven't seen your mom or brothers....i know the one clost to our age went back to finish school. the other one.i haven't heard about. it really sucks not having you here. u'd like my best friends.....u can talk smart and fashion with morgan and be playful with symone......i can't...nor do i want to not anymore....life sucks and there's only so much i can do to make it feel better....i can't smile at everything bad like you did. i can't..be you....i'm tired of being you mary....i'm not..a happy go lucky person. i can't smile at everone. i can't be everthing to everyone anymore.
when schools out....i'm leaving...i'm leaving this all behind me....i'm gonna.......go....i wont forget you..but everything and everyone else must go......i mean...look at me ******** look at me! i'm talkin to you in my journal!!!! u can't.....ur not even alive to red this.....yet i still talk to you...like your...right ******** made me tear ******** ******** ******** ******** ******** you...u just had to go and die. see what niceness got you.....it got you killed...and now it's killin me! ur killing me mary....but only for a half a year....when scool gets out...when we walk that stage...i will be my own person....i'm going to leave. get high as i drive away by myself.......symone's gonna be with her family and so wil morgan....-sigh-....i think i'm done....i'll see u when i close my eyes. maybe we can jump rope again