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I just looked through my saved Pms box. I found out that I had saved the one from the night where Nobuyuki kissed me, and kept confessing his love for me... the one where I kissed him back and told him I loved him too... and I burst into tears after reading only half of it.

Who is Nobuyuki? I don't get this. I've never gotten it. Nobody in the Family understands the connection he and I have. He and I don't understand it either. When he and I are apart, he loves the Weather Goddess, and I love Loki and Nyx. But when he and I are close to each other... there's something that happens. He knows it, and I know it. I don't think it's just lust. It can't be, because I know what it's like to lust after so many other people, but I always stay faithful because I know I don't love them. So how is it that he and I can both get so confused around each other? Have we met in a past life? What connection could we possibly have?

I'm tired of not knowing. As soon as possible, I'm going to get to Kiyo-chan. I know he's got so much on his plate, but dear god... When I told Nobuyuki we couldn't have that kind of relationship, it felt like my heart shattered. That is very not normal. At the very least, I want to know why it happens whenever I'm around him. That way, maybe I can guard myself against it.