And this is what happens when you give a sad girl a journal.
I don't ever want to lose him. I can say these kinds of things without even thinking about it. It's like second-nature. He means everything to me. He really, really does. If I lost him, I don't know what I'd do... My life is just so messed up right now. If I hadn't met him, God knows what kind of turns my life would have taken. I don't even want to think about it.
I might have gotten back with Byron. I'm sick of him. Getting with him would have ruined my life to a further extent. I wasn't in love with him the whole time. How could I have been? He's a hard person to love.
I might have gotten with Justin again... He's not a bad person, but how many times do I have to have my heart broken before I can finally realize that he's not right for me? I can be so blind sometimes...
Someone new may have come along. That may not be as bad but... there's no one like Joshua. He's sweet, caring, adorable, sexy, funny... He's the only one who's ever cared enough to send me presents. He accepts me for who I am, and doesn't care about any odd interests/fetishes/thoughts I may have. I used to get very jealous about every little thing he said because just the thought of losing him to anyone, even someone that could make him more happy than I do, just kills me inside.
Hmph... I guess I should just stop typing now. Venting is nice, but... Venting to a real person who can comfort and help me is just so much better.
I don't ever want to lose him. I can say these kinds of things without even thinking about it. It's like second-nature. He means everything to me. He really, really does. If I lost him, I don't know what I'd do... My life is just so messed up right now. If I hadn't met him, God knows what kind of turns my life would have taken. I don't even want to think about it.
I might have gotten back with Byron. I'm sick of him. Getting with him would have ruined my life to a further extent. I wasn't in love with him the whole time. How could I have been? He's a hard person to love.
I might have gotten with Justin again... He's not a bad person, but how many times do I have to have my heart broken before I can finally realize that he's not right for me? I can be so blind sometimes...
Someone new may have come along. That may not be as bad but... there's no one like Joshua. He's sweet, caring, adorable, sexy, funny... He's the only one who's ever cared enough to send me presents. He accepts me for who I am, and doesn't care about any odd interests/fetishes/thoughts I may have. I used to get very jealous about every little thing he said because just the thought of losing him to anyone, even someone that could make him more happy than I do, just kills me inside.
Hmph... I guess I should just stop typing now. Venting is nice, but... Venting to a real person who can comfort and help me is just so much better.
