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hey what do you know im really gonna use this thing this time, why you may ask? well ill tell you. it's bc this is the only place i can write about something that i just need to get off my chest xp i've been dating Brian for awhile now and its getting really serious 3nodding we are an almost a perfect couple.... i just need a job rolleyes BUT i'm kinda like all grr b/c of his 1st girlfriend..... they still talk and i totally trust him >.> and i kinda trust her... he still really cares about her and i know she'd give an arm and leg to have him back. that is what gets to me and at dodge ball she said to him "i love you buddy" then said to me... that was totally uncalled for!!!! god that pissed me off.... to be honest im a little jealous of her too b/c they were together for 1 1/2 xD and they pretty much lived together too...

so way back in 04 i happened to meet my 1st love. we feel head over heals for one another and then in went to hell >.> but we tried for so many yrs to make things right and to be together..... we totally stopped talking late 08 early 09... and ya i'll admit i still love him always will he's my 1st and i hope he's ok and alive >.>

anyways back to this his 1st love reminds me so much of mine its insane and that's why i get so grr b/c he would do anything to have me back... and i feel kinda that's what she's doing with him xD

you see no thanks to my mom and cousin >.< damn them both.... i'm a little worried that this all could come crashing down.... it's like this little tiny thing in the back of my head. but when i'm with him and we are together all that worry goes away and i'm just so happy b/c he's there and we're in each others arms. im damn he's already talking about moving in next yr.... just gotta get a job xp

i truely love Brian and i know he feel's the same about me... and ya know i honestly think we could end up getting married heart he's my everything and i know i am his everything.....

des if you read this kept your mouth shut about this with him lol
he knows i worry about her and i told him im working on letting it go which i am just takes a little bit of time xp anyways!!! peace y'all