I'm so sad today and I have no idea why. My friends are happy and when they are I am too. But not today. And I don't know why.
Maybe it's because there's someone on my mind right now who's dragging me down. But I just don't know.
It seems like there is no motivation now. I feel I need to do nothing and I'll still pass in school and go on with my future. But where's the motivation supposed to come from when I have absoulutely no idea what I want to be when I'm older.
My sister already has her future planned. She's going into the army and the phorensics. My brother wants to own a car dealership. But me -- Nothing.
I mean yeah, I'm good with make up. But do I really want to do that when I'm older? Not really.
I can write poems.. Maybe not good ones, but still. Maybe I want to be an English teacher.
People tell me I can sing, but I know I can't.
I'm good with woodworking.. Put it's not my passion.
Everyone is trying to have me tell them where I want to go to college, but I have no idea where.
My future isn't even really there. It's kind of like when someone is shading in art, it's really dark and seeable at the beginning, but then you get closer to the end and it turns to nothing.
All I want in the future is to still have my friends and Steve.. But neither can be guarenteed. So then what?
I have no desire to do anything right now besides go curl up in a corner and cry. I don't want to be a burden on Osso. Otherwise I'd write this to him.. But he has better things to do.
I bet all my friends have alot of better things to do besides read my whining.
 Miss-Grace-Murder · Wed Sep 23, 2009 @ 10:58pm · 0 Comments |
