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Mental Cesspool
All the little thoughts, problems, and concerns that I may be dealing with at any given time, spread out for the internet to see.
Status Conversation
Started by my status of: "Oh god... Loki... please don't leave me... Loki... Nyx...!"

Atari-555

uh, what's going on? You okay?

Lady of La Mancha

No... oh god, no...
*sighs*
You remember Nobuyuki? Oni-sensei? He... well I can forward you the pms where I was talking to him if you need to see it. But.. he told me he loved me. And he really meant it. And he kissed me and he held me and he asked me what I felt for him, and... dear god... I told him that I like him too... *tears up* A-and I don't know what to do... Nyx hasn't said anything and I haven't spoken to Loki yet... Oni-sensei said he'd talk to Loki because he thinks that he loves Loki too, and he said that Nyx is really beautiful and he likes him too... he... he wants to be a part of our relationship, like be with me and Nyx and Loki, and... and I don't know what to do!!! I'm so terrified that Loki and Nyx are going to leave me... and what's worse is that just earlier today I asked Loki to tell me if he ever fell for anyone else, and he said he would, a-and I... oh god... *holds her face in her hands and cries*

Atari-555

Dear, dera, calm down. Okay? CALM DOWN. And then we'll talk about this. Okay?

Lady of La Mancha

I can't be without them!!! God, I love them more than anything!!! A-and... and... I l-like Nobuyuki too... *hangs her head and cries harder*

Atari-555

Then tell them that. Tell them that you cannot be without them, that you cannot stand it. There is nothing wrong with liking someone esle too. If your heart likes someone else, then let it like someone else. But be open about it. Don't try and hide it. Will Nyx and Loki hate you? Do they hate you? Or are they just as confused as you are?

Lady of La Mancha

I don't know... I don't know... I-I don't know what to say to Nyx... and Loki is over at Nettie's... where Oni-sensei is... a-and I... I don't know what to say... I-I...
...To be completely honest, I want it to work out that way... so that we can be together with Nobuyuki too... but I'd give everything up if it meant that I could keep Loki and Nyx... everything...

"-Nyx-
*silently wraps his arms around Darlin'*"

*tenses up and starts crying softly again*

"-Nyx-
*wipes away Darlin's tears*
Please don't cry... I won't leave you... I promise. It's up to Loki right now. I... I like Nobuyuki too, and I would never leave you. It's just up to Loki right now.
*kisses Darlin's cheek softly*
I'm going to go over to Nettie's to talk with Loki and Nobuyuki. Okay? I love you. I'll never leave you *kisses her again before leaving*"

...
Please God...

Atari-555

It'll all work out. I feel nothing bad. I feel trial and error, and I feel stress, but I feel that everything will work out in it's own way. Don't worry. Wait patiently, wipe your tears and talk to me woman!

Lady of La Mancha

How, though...? Can you tell how it'll work out...?

Atari-555

You know that I'm never certain about anything. You know that I can't tell the future, or how things will turn out, but you also know that I can feel how things are, and apparantely I'm damn accurate. And I'm telling you right now that you should not worry. If I am wrong, you can slap me silly at Anime Expo next year.

Lady of La Mancha

I'm just so scared... I'll be moving to Maryland, and Loki said that he'll be staying in California because he's Nettie's guardian, but he'll come visit... and I don't know what to do... I mean, it's one thing if he's far away but I know he still loves me... it's completely different knowing that he hates me... God, I can't live without them! I can't!! I... I'm so scared that I'm going to lose them....

Atari-555

And it's okay to be scared. I mean, look at me and Ian. Would you believe me if I said he is still the scared and insecure one? He thinks that one day I'll find another man. I just roll my eyes. I mean please, I love him because I lve him, right? I'm not going to suddenly fall for another guy.

Loki doesn't hate you. If he loves you, than how can he? He won't stop loving you merely because you say you like another guy AS WELL. Not instead of. Think about that.

Lady of La Mancha

...I know... I'm just so scared... *hugs herself tightly* Loki... Nyx...





 
 
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