Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Even as the world turned grey with black holes, Lilly’s kitty senses were screaming with someone’s treachery to Camasin. Strong, dark arms held her tight to a tall, hard body, a cloth with the acrid smell of chemicals against her nose and mouth. She couldn’t fight and her ability to cast spells was fading with the colors of the world. The last thoughts she had as she finally lost all strength was that no one would be there to protect Vasuki like she did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What do you mean she’s gone?!” Vasuki cried, standing up from his throne. “She was just in the garden. I was just with her.”
Ken shook his head. “I’m not sure what’s happened, but Lilly is gone. I found this cloth lying there in the grass.” He held up an acrid smelling scrap of fabric. “I thought maybe it was hers, but I’ve looked all over the castle for her, Vasuki. She’s gone.”
Vasuki shook his head angrily. “She’s been taken, I know it. Ken, get Kaila and Kiya. We’re going to Zabra. I have no doubt that she’s there.” Bile was eating up at the bottom of his throat. The thought of Lilly being taken made him sick to his stomach. She was one tough neko, having been raised in the poorest, most run down slums of Camasin, but if someone had managed to take her against her will…
I’m coming, Lilly. Hang on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Lilly opened her eyes again, her head was a throbbing, ear splitting mass of agony. Her eyes couldn’t focus on anything in the strange and dark surroundings. She tried to move and found herself tied down. The thought sped her pulse and she struggled against her bonds as best as her sluggish body would allow. Whatever she had been drugged with was still in her system.
She wasn’t wearing anything but her underclothes and the strange man that had taken her forced her mouth open with his. Lilly was about to scream when she felt some overpowering heat pour through her veins. He started to pull back when Lilly forced that heat into him. Something brittle seemed to have snapped inside of her core and a liquid, velvety warmth spread through her veins and from her mouth into the man’s.
It was his turn to scream. Lilly opened her eyes and Lionel was on fire, tearing at his skin, rolling on the ground, trying to deaden the flames. Lilly felt strangely calm, slipping her hands out of the loosened bonds that held them together. Her skin felt hot, hotter than anything she’d ever felt before. She raised her hands before her eyes and felt a white static fill her; her skin was licking with blue flames.
The man’s screams were deafening. She looked down at him as he burned to death and felt nothing but that strange static in her head. Inside a large, dark, antique wardrobe across the room she found a long white button up shirt that she put on over her underclothes. It covered her down to her knees. She assumed that her dress was ruined, and even if it weren’t she wouldn’t want it. Rape had a tendency to linger on things. As she left the room, she dragged her hands along the wallpapered walls. Where ever she touched, the wallpaper, the wood, the paintings burst into flames. The door opened without her concentrating.
She walked down, down, down. The stairs of this castle went on forever. She touched everything as she walked, setting the whole castle on fire. Still, she felt nothing. There was only the quiet static in her brain. Screams echoed around the castle as it turned into a crimson inferno, but all was drowned out by the calm, white noise that only Lilly could hear. She found a child screaming on one of the landings. A woman rushed out of a nearby room and picked her up, running down the stairs away from the hellish inferno that followed Lilly like a long train on a dress. As she met the child’s eyes, she read her lips. Monster, the child said to her. You’re a monster.
It’s not me that’s a monster, Lilly thought as she descended even more stairs. This castle is. Everyone in this castle is filthy. Nothing is pure.
Fire was the element of purity.
And she was purifying everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ken, Kaila, Yukioko and Kiya had left Vasuki at the resting place. They’d be traveling for two days, which meant they were close to Zabra now. Ken was trying not to think about what was happening to Lilly or what had become of her at this point. Promising Vasuki, he and the girls had gone out every night for an hour to look around and see if there was any trace of Camasin’s most powerful black mage. Nothing had been turned up as of late, but they looked still.
The night before, they looked off in the distance and saw Zabra aflame. This had spurred Vasuki into an almost panicked state as they continued their search. No one said much. Most of them were too concerned with what could possibly be happening and trying to convince themselves to think positive to say much.
“KEN! Ken, Kaila, quick!” Kiya screamed.
Ken ran through the trees to the sound of Kiya’s scared voice. Kaila came crashing behind him. Within minutes of calling back and forth to each other, they had found Kiya and Yukioko sitting near a large object in a stream. As Ken went closer, he noticed the body had pale, long pink hair and large, black cat ears. Lilly appeared to be unconscious.
“Quick,” Ken said, reaching foreward. “Help me get her out of the water.”
“No!” Kiya said, grabbing his arms. “Don’t touch her. She’ll burn your skin off.”
“What are you talking about?”
She showed him a branch that had been charred to blackened charcoal at the end.
“I don’t know what’s happened, but her skin is too hot for any of us to touch. Do you have a blanket or something? That’s the only way, I think.”
It took half an hour to return to the resting place. When they entered, Vasuki stood. When he saw Lilly bundled into a blanket in Ken’s arms, he stumbled as much as a Lizard king could.
“Is she alive?” He asked, going forward.
Ken nodded. “Barely. She needs to rest.” He laid her down on the bed and unfurled the blanket from her skin. She was pale and looked like hell, her pink hair matted with clumps of earth. The white shirt she wore originally was torn and dirty along with her skin. She inhaled in short gasps as if she was having difficulty breathing.
Vasuki felt his heart breaking. Ken stopped his movements with a hand on his shoulder.
“Please. She can’t be touched.” He explained about the branch with reassurance from Kiya, who held it up. Vasuki felt himself pale under his scales as he glanced at the restless Lilly. Her hand flung out and touched the wall, searing her handprint into it as she continued her labored breathing.
“What do we do?” Vasuki breathed, trying to restrain himself from touching her.
“Let her heal,” Yukioko said. “It’s all we can do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later that night, Lilly awoke, her skin wet with sweat. Her heart hammered as she saw the darkened, strange room and thought briefly that she had be captured again. But when she looked beside her on the floor, a calming spread of relief washed it away. Vasuki lay there, asleep next to her. Around the room she could see them all; Ken asleep in a kitchen chair, Kiya and Kaila in separate beds and Yukioko in the only comfortable chair there was. Lilly let out a breath and crept from the small building to outside.
The night was cool and quiet. The stars lit up the woods enough to see and the moon shone as a spotlight in the clearing. Lilly stood in the center and wished she felt something. But there was nothing, as though she were an empty wooden doll like they’d had in the slums of her childhood. She felt lifeless, distant, numb. There was nothing but the quiet static in her ears.
She felt a small pulse in her core and a light dew started to fall down from the cloudless sky. Lilly raised her face to the sky and hoped it would wash away the numbness and prayed that it didn’t. When the numbness left, there would be pain, sorrow and worse, fear. She knew underneath the static and the void, there was a fear that rattled her down to her core, rattled her sense of self. As the rain fell down on Lilly’s face, running down her cheeks in the tears she couldn’t shed, she knew that she wasn’t as strong as she’d always believed. She knew that there was something in the world that she couldn’t deal with.

Perfect Enemy

She was being summoned by Vasuki’s council. How she hated that council. Lilly didn’t believe in them, didn’t trust them. Vasuki had known what he was doing without them. Because of them, they’d taken in a Zabran Princess as an “apology” for the damage their head guard had done to Lilly. They’d said they’d wait while they found a suitable girl to send to Zabra. Lilly didn’t trust her, didn’t like the way she looked at Vasuki. It was the same way she looked at him when no one was looking, but Elizabeth’s was fake. The council had been whispering behind Vasuki’s back about perhaps making him marry her. It would show a peace between Zabra and Camasin, even Vasuki had to know that.
No, Lilly didn’t like them at all.
Not that she’d said anything. She hadn’t said anything for four months, not since she’d set the whole of the Zabran palace aflame and her powers had nearly burnt her to death trying to purify the incident from her mind and body.
Lilly looked at herself in the mirror. She’d been paler ever since the incident. And she couldn’t concentrate on much. The static had remained, dull now, but still there. She found it ever so slightly comforting, though the doctor of the palace said it was bad. He’d said something about her magic trying to protect her from any harm, trying to clean her mind of what had happened and that it had caused her to lose touch with reality.
Lilly opened her mouth. A tiny flame sat on her tongue. That was why she hadn’t said anything in months. That was why she hadn’t said anything to Vasuki in months.
She put on her thick black veil over her lower face and slid on her full-length black gloves. Her hands had stopped flaming within a few weeks, but she was still too hot to touch. To keep others safe she’s put the gloves on and to hide the flame on her tongue she wore the veil. In the corridors, everyone avoided her. They were afraid of what she’d done, how many innocent people she’d killed.
The throne room was silent when she entered. She caught Vasuki’s eye where he sat on the throne, Elizabeth standing behind him, where Lilly used to stand. Elizabeth looked just like her brother, all dark skin and dark hair, tall and sturdy. She even held Lionel’s handsomeness instead of feminine beauty. Lionel had been the man’s name Lilly had found.
The council members all stared at Lilly.
Once in the center of the throne room, she curtseyed low, showing her readiness to hear why she’d been summoned. The head council member stood and read from a piece of paper.
“Black Mage for the Crown of Camasin, Lillith Crimsonmoon, the council of Camasin has come to the conclusion that you shall be placed under house arrest until you are seen fit to complete your tasks as Head Black Mage. As of now, determined by the Physician of the Castle, you are incapable of completing your duties and shall not be allowed to continue them until further notice. As you’ve requested when we stated that you were under probation, you shall be sent home to your mother and father where they can take care of you. You will also be visited daily by our Physician to help you get well. That is all.”
Vasuki’s face showed shock and outrage as the council member finished.
“I’ve been told none of this! How dare you make this sort of decision without me? Lilly is perfectly able to complete--”
He was stopped by movement. Lilly was curtseying low again, showing that she understood and had no objections. She made brief eye contact with Vasuki. He looked pained. Lilly looked neutral. She felt nothing. Until Elizabeth placed a hand on Vasuki’s shoulder, holding him back from getting out of the chair. A brief flash of anger and jealousy whipped through Lilly before she turned and left the throne room and the castle. She was at the gates to the bridge when she heard Vasuki calling her name.
“Lilly!” He said, panting as he caught up to her. “Lilly, don’t go. You don’t have to. The council can’t make decisions like this without my okay. Don’t leave, Lilly. Stay here.”
Lilly shook her head and started to walk away again. Vasuki grabbed her arm where it was bare just below her shoulder then gave a cry of pain. Lilly turned to see his hand smoking and a second degree burn developing. Still his eyes were all for her.
“Don’t go, Lilly.”
Finally, Lilly lowered her veil and spoke for the first time in months. Her voice was soft and scratchy with lack of use. Hearing her whispery, smooth voice reduced to that made Vasuki’s heart pang with pain.
“They’re right, your highness. I’m incapable of doing my duties.” She gave a harsh laugh and held her hands out to him.
“You can’t even touch me. I’m no longer in control of my magic. I burn everything that comes in contact with me aside from my clothing. I can’t be kept here.”
Vasuki was staring at her mouth as she spoke. Finally she opened her mouth to show him the flame on her tongue. His eyes widened and he backed up a bit. She gave another harsh laugh and covered her mouth again, the static eating up the emotions that threatened to come out.
“Good-bye, your highness.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Vasuki had the bandage on for three weeks. It was almost healed, but he wouldn’t take it off until Lilly returned to the castle. Everything was strangely quiet without her and he didn’t feel nearly as safe and secure. He knew that Lilly meant a lot to him, but he’d never realized how much of her personality he had taken for granted. How having her appear at random when he thought he’d been sneaky was one of his favorite feelings. How hearing her odd and awkward comments had been his way of not only understanding her, but the world. How no matter how bad things were, she was there and she could fix it.
He was in her room, practicing the magic she’d taught him when Elizabeth knocked and entered without his permission.
“I don’t think you should be in here, Elizabeth,” Vasuki said, closing the book. “This is Lilly’s room and she doesn’t like people to enter it while she’s away.”
Elizabeth curtseyed down to the ground and spoke to it as well.
“I apologize, my lord, but the council requests your presence.”
Vasuki sighed and stood up.
“Very well, lead the way.”
But what the council said was not what he wanted to hear.
“What the hell do you mean by this?” He snapped at the head chairman. “It has never been your duty to tell the king who to marry.”
“Because the other kings have found queens within a reasonable amount of time. Suitable queens, I might add. Lillith Crimsonmoon is not a suitable queen, your highness. Not only is she stock of the lowest of commoners, she is a black mage, and they are unfit for anything but battle.”
“How dare you speak of Lilly like that! She’s never done anything but serve Camasin with an undying sense of loyalty. She’s never put any of us in harms way and has done more than her job to keep us safe. Being a commoner should have nothing to do with anything!”
“It still remains, my lord, that those are the ways. She is unfit in every way to be your queen.”
Vasuki bit his tongue and looked at Elizabeth. She had on a pleasant and neutral face.
“What do you think of this?” He asked her.
She curtseyed again to the ground and spoke, “I think it will bring peace between our two kingdoms, your highness. But I would not want to cause any sort of distress to you or yours.”
“You really have no choice, my lord,” the chairman said. “You and Elizabeth shall be wed tomorrow. And Lillith shall be sent to Zabra.”
“What?!”
“They are demanding her. They say that we’ve had their princess too long without sending them one of ours. We have no princesses here and so they’ve demanded Lillith. She is the highest ranking female in our realm. She is also required to help finish the castle that she herself destroyed. We have no options, my Lord. Tomorrow, Lillith leaves us for good.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lilly stared at the council members as they announced her fate. Her heart had broken when she saw Vasuki married to Elizabeth and now she was being sent back to the place where everything had gone wrong. She never spoke, merely trembled on weak knees and stared through blurred vision. The static in her head was almost deafening, yet she could hear every word being said.
“You will be accompanied by some of our guards. We hope that you’ll understand and not hold any grudges against us.”
Lilly bowed her head and curtseyed.
“You may leave now, Lillith. Good luck to you.”
Lilly raised her head and looked for Vasuki in the crowd. He stood with Elizabeth hanging over him like a cloak, whispering in his ear. But she felt it. When their eyes met, there was a jump in the room. His eyes were leaking. So were hers. All the things that were left unsaid in the air were choking all of those who had been at the wedding and were now watching as Lilly was cast back into her own hell. Despite the static, despite her numbness, her pain finally cracked her lifeless shell and tears started to pour from her eyes and down her cheeks. She saw all their memories flashing through the air as though she were watching an old film clip. Him catching her as she nearly fell into the river, their first fight about that Ellanari girl from the bar, the night he told her that he loved her. She wanted to scream her pain out, run to him and beg him not to make her go back, make him understand she this was going to break her beyond help.
She turned and left, levitating her things along with her as she went out the doors of the castle for the last time.
She traveled with the guard for three days. Once she reached Zabra, their guard took her up to the castle, where she was met by the new king’s head guard, who looked a bit like some large, predatory bird. Lilly was trembling again as she stared at the ground.
“Magus Lillith, I presume?” He asked.
Lilly nodded, clutching her bag tightly in both her hands.
“Let me show you the way to your room.”
Her room was bare with a mattress for a bed and a cold stone floor.
“We’re sorry for the lack of comfort, but our supplies have been low since you burnt down our original castle. “
Lilly set down her things and sat on the mattress, staring at the man. He was glowering at her with as much hatred as he could muster.
“We hear that you haven’t spoken in months. That’s good. We will tolerate no insolence here, especially from you. I’ll be sending in another lady to help you dress appropriately.”
Lilly gave him a questioning face and glanced at her black dress and long gloves.
“For your rank here, you are covering too much skin.” With that, he left.
Lilly stared at the door and felt the static in her head grow again to a deafening roar. She was in hell. She was to be a concubine. She wasn’t too worried as no one could touch her, but to be something so degrading, to be reminded everyday of what had once happened to her here in this castle was pure hell.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elizabeth had arranged for the two kingdoms to have a ball. To appease Zabra, it was in their castle. Now that she was in a ruling position, she’d become a vicious, nasty thing. Vasuki had never met anyone so cruel in all his days. He spent most of his time avoiding her and had taken to disappearing as Addler in the streets of Camasin more and more. Once or twice he’d stayed the night with Lilly’s parents. But on their three day journey to Zabra, it was all he could do to not tear Elizabeth’s tongue from her mouth. Not only was she constantly putting down her new kingdom, every chance she got she tore into Lilly.
“That Lilly tramp” or “That filthy commoner” were her favorites. Many of the gaurds agreed with her, but Vasuki knew that they did it only to appease their sadistic queen. Even the council was regretting their choice. Of course, there was nothing he could do anymore. He was stuck with her unless she could be proved treacherous.
The ball at the Zabra palace was beautiful in all golds and whites. Everyone was drinking and having a good time. A vaguely bird looking man had attached himself to Elizabeth. Vasuki was left alone with Ken and his group.
“Lilly should be here somewhere, Vasuki,” Ken said, trying to comfort his depressed king.
“I’m sure she’s happy.”
“Strangely, Ken, that does nothing to make it any better,” Vasuki sighed.
There was some rowdy laughter from a group of men on the other side of the room. Vasuki looked over and they seemed to be pushing someone around them in the center of their circle. One man grabbed the person and poured a goblet of some fluid down their throat, causing them to choke and cough. Vasuki could almost swear he saw a flash of pink when one of the men moved and the girl fell down the stairs on her face like a limp doll.
Everyone went silent in the room. Vasuki was shocked. He caught sight of Elizabeth’s face. She looked infuriated and he had a feeling it wasn’t outrage at how they would treat a girl. Ken looked as angry as Vasuki felt. Kiya, Kaila and Yukioko looked torn between pain and anger at the state of the girl’s treatment.
The girl on the stairs raised her face which was bruised purple and bloody red where it wasn’t covered by a gold veil. Her pink hair was piled up in a complicated bun, leaving her delicate facial features bare and beautiful despite her injuries. Her arms as well were covered in bruises where they weren’t hidden by golden gloves and silver bangles. She looked strange dressed in a practically sheer cloth and her cat ears flat against her head. When her yellow eyes locked with Vasuki’s, she looked at the ground and tried to stand, but seemed to be having trouble working her legs. One of the men in the group kicked Lilly in the back and laughed as she fell further down the stairs.
There was an instant uproar from the Camasin crowd in the room. Ken ran forward with his crew and subdued the men. Elizabeth was heard shrieking to the bird-man about having told him to hide Lilly and when she arranged for her to become a concubine she was meant to be hidden from Vasuki forever.
Vasuki managed to slither over to Lilly and help her up. He made sure to grab her where there was cloth. Lilly was crying silently and tried to push away from him, the white noise in her head reaching a deafening level.
“Lilly,” Vasuki whispered, staring at her bruised and bloodied face. “Oh, Lilly.”
She pushed him away lightly and tried to walk, but stumbled and nearly fell. Vasuki caught her and held her around the waist. She was shaking her head and trying to get away from him.
“Someone please arrest Elizabeth,” Vasuki said. “For treason against the kingdom of Camasin.”
As she fought and screamed at the gaurds who arrested her, Vasuki undid Lilly’s hair, allowing it to fall down her back as it always did. He then removed a golden collar that had been placed around her neck and gave her his jacket to cover herself with. She was still shaking her head when he removed her veil. She was trying to say something, but all that was coming out were inarticulate noises.
He stopped her by kissing her lightly. When he pulled away, smoke rose gently between their lips and the fire on Lilly’s tongue died finally died. She stopped struggling and stared at him, speechless.
“Can you say anything, Lilly?”
She shook her head and pointed to the goblet that had held the liquid she’d been forced to drink. She touched her throat lightly, signaling that the potion had been made to keep her from speaking.
“I promise,” Vasuki said, removing the long gloves from her arms and taking her hands in his. “I promise, this will never happen again. You’re coming home now.”
Lilly gave a bitter laugh and looked at the ground. Vasuki kissed her forehead and held her tightly. “It’s a king’s job to protect his queen.”
Lilly gave a shadow of one of her wicked smirks. Vasuki didn’t need words to know what she was trying to say. Lilly didn’t need protecting for the most part. She was trouble and you can’t protect someone from themselves.