hey my non existing readers! i'v been so bored lately..... probly cause i'm ipodless and my bf has been skipping school like crazy =_=. so yeah i almost cried at school today. you know that song that has the line "the first cut is the deepest" well i'v had so many cuts that idk where the first one is. any way srry for the emo moment. but yeah as i talk im listening to MCR's Disenchanted. it reminds me of my dad who i no longer see and i realy do miss him even though he has all his flaws he's my dad and i cant not love him......or can i? i remeber when i was young i felt nervous seeing my dad. i used to think will he lash out this time scare brandon or mabey this time he'll be better and act normal.
wow i guess im more depressed then i thought. know that i think of it starting up cutting again dosent sound so bad. at least when i did i could get the pain out easier then just botteling it up like i do. I know that bad for u, botteling up ur emotions, a good friend of mine told me that it can make u sick. i wish he would do the same i feel like we've drifted apart since we broke up......yeah i dated him so what. and even though a has a bf(sorta) i still love him with my whole heart. actully thats an overstatement. i gave my whole heart to someone once and in the end he took 3/4 with him leaving me a small sliver of the girl i used to be. strong happy, and didnt give a s**t about boys..until him. his voice was so clear so comforting he's the only other person i cried to beside my family. and how he hurt me can never be forgiven....and yet i dont hate him with the little heart i have left i still have feelings. the kind u have for a friend who u wrry about.
well i guess thats it i dont have much else to rant about......well bye.
ove ur depressed and broken writter,
Yumi
p.s hey fischer if ur reading this you know i love you
 GirlOnTheBalcony · Fri May 01, 2009 @ 03:55am · 0 Comments |
