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i dont know why but i was listening to mocking bird by eminem and it made me think. i wonder how my father feels about me. for once i actually thought about it. i wonder if he's as careless towards me as i am towards him. i mean i do know he does love me a bit but, he doesnt show it at all. which is why i stopped caring in the first place. this is the one thing i hate about my mind. i take the most meaning thing and ponder into it. and then my inquiries cause me to think of thing that pull me down. ive always been this. and i would think things that no one should ever have to think about at such a young age. and it used to traumatize me. and sometimes i would actually bring myself to tears. the most meaning less word, maybe a line in a song, a part of a story, ANYTHING! can make me think about this like that. and at times it gets really agitating. sometimes i wish i could just pull my brain straight from my head cuz sometimes wat i ask questions about hurts. when it comes to my father i have come to so many conclusions and questions that it could break the heart of a corpse. ive asked why he met my mother, why i was born, why did he never care to be in my life, and that made me very cold towards him but the only reason im so cold is because he gave me no reasons to like him in the first place. Thanks to him my life has been ******** up since the day that i figured out that he had cheated on my mother and tried to take me from her. hes nothing to me...and now that he realizes that i despise him with every ounce of my being, hes trying to build a relationship with me. but its way too late dad......




your dead to me....and you deserve to be....