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I'm corrupted from within~
I lurb Kamelot = w=

Anyway, it's been a while since I've done anything with this journal. Not like it matters; journals are just here for funsies. It's Gaia way of showing there's a place to go and rant without anyone actually having to see it. I think journals are the deep dark places of Gaia Online. You know, those shifty corners or alleys you see with all the druggies and hookers? Yeah. That's Journals right there. It's a cheap two-dollar whore. Lots of fun to be had there.
Not.

Um. Things have been happening.

It's official: My dad is quitting his job in order to pursue Christian Education. He's working on his something rather for Child Evangelism so he can actually get paid for doing what he loves. Or kind of loves. He gets angry at it a lot, but then again my dad can't go an hour without getting angry at something. Just like my mother. Anyway, because of this, money is going to be tight (father is the only working figure in the family, aside from brother, but he only cares about himself and his soon-to-be fiancee) and that means no more nice things. Which means there goes books . . . and it's a bad year not to have money. There are so many good releases coming out later in the year. Along with video games! But I'll be looking into a summer job at Borders. Or Gamestop. But I doubt they'd take me.
"You're working! Why are you playing games?! You're fired!"
Actually . . . Borders would be about the same.
"Hey, you're working right now! Get your nose out of that book or you'll be fired!"
I honestly can't help it. If I see something interesting I have to touch it. One of those covers that draw you in or a certain title. It's interesting! You just have to know!

But of course with work comes the obstacle I've been trying to run away from all my life. I'm not a socialite. I mean, I'm sure if I lived in New York and came from old money I would be dying to get to the top rung, but since that's not me I'm a closed-in person. In public school I couldn't even socialize properly without someone getting detention or feelings hurt. Then again, the kids hated me. If they didn't want me to hit them all the time they shouldn't even bother speaking to me, right? Right.
I've grown up since then but because of my sheltered life (actually, it's not sheltered--I know far too much for my age--it's just that I've never been introduced to the public) I'm terrified of people. Being in public, everywhere I look, I can't see normal people unless I know them. Strangers, people walking through the mall giddy and smiley, or skulking around, are all potential dangers. I see killers everywhere I go. I don't want to talk to people because I feel that from a two second conversation people can suck out all my information or see right through me--and they don't even know me! How could they know all my secrets? Yeah, that's just crazy Olive.
But I want to give people book recommendations. I want to secretly laugh at a mother when she asks about the Twilight series. I want to help people find a good book. I just don't want to deal with cash registers.
If I was put on register I would obsessively swipe the book over that pad to deactivate the anti-theft sticker because I'm that paranoid. I hate walking through those things and hearing them go off. I didn't steal anything! And I wouldn't want it to happen to anyone else. So I'd keep swiping and swiping and swiping and rubbing and pushing until eventually I'd feel satisfied it wouldn't go off. Then my unsteady hands (because they always shake, more so when dealing with people) would have to push buttons and my brain dead head would have to find some way to give change. Yeah, the computer tells you exactly how much they get back, but because I have absolutely no math skills (I can round and count money and, it takes me a while, but I can add--no multiplication, hardly any subtraction, no division, or that fancy algebra crap) I would blankly stare at the money.

Because of all those things I would be fired.

And all of it would happen at Gamestop or Hot Topic, too! Now if I worked at a library I wouldn't have to worry about money, it would just be the obsessive swiping. However, I doubt the library would take me unless I have a piece of paper that says I'm worth something in life. Which brings me to my next point.

Freakin' graduation tests.

I'm not worried about them. They are all week (16-20) and I have to go to this tiny building that I've never been to and sit for two hours to BS my way through. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I don't try on tests. Reading and Writing I'll give maybe 50%, but the others . . . pfft. However, this year, since this is a new test and I know what to expect for the grading, I'm going to do something I've never tried before. I know that these tests are graded by people they pull off the street; their given a packet that has the answers and are told to go through and mark. Because I know this, I'm going to talk to these people. Oh yes. When an extended answer is there, with that giant box to fill out with graphs and numbers, I'm going to write to them. I'll ask them how their day is, describe what's going through my head at that time as I watch all the other students bite their lips and touch their calculators. I'll tell them about my job worries. By the time all the extended answers are filled out they should know me pretty well. Not in a personal way, but in a way that you know someone online by following their blog or something. Just like that. It's going to be so fun messing with these people.

You have to get a 400 to pass; my history teacher told us if we just guess, we'll at least get 300. As long as I have something relating to the question in my "answer" I'll get a point or two. Extended answers are always four points. And hey! If I fail, I have four more tries!
So, while everyone is sweating over whether they pass or not, I'll just be worried about actually going to the place and seeing these people (my last science teacher is going to be there). Because, you know, I don't like people. And why am I not concerned whether I pass or fail? Simply answered: I don't care. I don't care about school at all. I understand it's necessary but it's a big waste of time.

So . . . yeah. Lots of stuff going on.

Actually, it's only this long because I can't write. Stories. They're very . . . shallow. Ugh.