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i took a quad stacked extawcee pill meth based...stupid thing is is that it was my first time doin extawcee and meth.I had a hard come down cuz of the meth i sopose so i smoked so of tot pot which..i dunno.... i didn't know wat i was doing...and i drank alot and the next morning i threw up EVERYWHERE and stayed at dave's till i was better and i had the effect for 3-4weeks it was rlly strong too i has rlly pissy and had huge head aches and couldn't sleep i was rly paranoid the whole time and locked in my room and when i was allll better i had these cuts all over me and i figured i did them but i wasn't sure...then after a while i got rlllllllly depressed cuz i was broken up with john at the time i think and i was dating david and it was just so weerd and i felt soooo bad and angry with myself cuz at that time i called john a f** cuz...it was during the effect and thats why i got grounded in the first place...so i laid on dave's bed waiting for him (we were gonna have sex for the first time..for my "first time" wink and i just got real depressed about wat was going to happen and i cried rly hard and grabbed the 2 black films where the pills were and the big bottle of unknown beer and poored out one whole film on the bed and pourd out half of the other one and i was gonna take them one by one every time i cut myself...but david got home and he hid the pills in his bro's room...and we had a RLLLLY long talk and we broke up..after a week too XD but rly i just couldn't do it...cuz there was still hope that i'd see john again and im not stupid..i just didn't want to go back to the life i was b4 john..and john was my motivation to stop all that s**t..i dun mean to depend on him for everything but i just couldn't do it anymore..im tryin to stop it now..its workin out........ok it amazing how i can look so good when im rly crap XDwell...there the secret i didn't want to dream about anymore.
 BunnXiLove · Sun Mar 15, 2009 @ 12:22am · 1 Comments |
