Some of us supress our emotions to hide them from others, some do it to hide from themselves, others do it to stay out of trouble...
I have been holding back so much since my childhood, and like a pot set to boil i have begun to overflow.... i try to sit and relax, but I dont have the time...
I have like 7 months to get a job that gets me 475/month or im well... homeless, I seem to be stuck in the body of a 15 year old... i have the maturity level of pretty much the same >.<
My so called friend just stole my bankcard and cleaned out my account, which got rid of my grocery money, so im ******** hungry... and I still keep all this in.
I feel as if im wasting away, like, im hiding myself from life, because I dont know what to do if I ever had one... Hiding behind a pc, and talking with people a million miles away.. is the only thing that doesnt really scare me..
Dont get me wrong.. Im still worried about what you all think.. But through this.. i dont worry as much...
Now I dont really know why I've decided to write all this...
Im telling the world about my little and big screw ups..
and that I dont know where im going to be in the future.. I just want other people who might be in the same situation.. to understand.. that im there too.. so whatever happens .. happens.
Some people will call me crazy..
I might be, but I think of it more as Im sane, but im smart enough to realise.. that my life, my existence has so much wrong with it, And im confused as all hell about it..
I guess you could say I have a sorta peter pan complex... I really dont want to grow up, I dont know how.. sweatdrop
I want to be carefree.. but todays society forces you to be scared shitless every moment of your life.. wheres my paycheck, am i on time? whys he looking at me like that.. what will they say?dont look him in the eye, oh a beggar....and this . is a fraction of the worries normal people have...
I wouldnt consider myself normal..
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Me...
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If your in our clan...ask me to put your head on our wall >.<
User Comments: [1] [add]
User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
What you need to realize is that, while you're an adult, you are still very muh an adolescent. This is not a bad thing. For while reality keeps our feet on the ground, the youth within us fights constantly- kicking, screaming, struggling- to keep us light at heart.
I think our inner youth stays with us because it "knows" how things are on the outside. And that's why we find ourselves wanting to change a little, grow up some, and gain maturation. Yet all the while, the inner youth beckons us to stay true to ourselves.
And this is (what I believe to be, at any rate) the primary reason as to why we are so affixed to our inner youth: To stay true to ourselves so that we may question transition, and when we are ready, adapt accordingly, staying true to ourselves all the while.