Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

my mother was idmited for the 3rd and final time to day to a rehab center up in PA i know its for the best that she went and all and it started to get me thinking about life and some how my thoughts fell on to one of my old neckless chains my brother broke (this time he didnt mean it and i know he didnt so im not that mad at him but im still a little pissed) you know the saying that a chain is only as strong as its weakest link life is a lot like that to

when your born how many people do you know that care for you 4 ot 6 at best mom dad grampapa grammama older brother(s)/sister(s) not that many

but as you get older and you start to make new friend and there family cain gets linked to yours and from there chain others are linked and so on and so on makeing a spiders web of family ties and conetions then when family problems happen i will effect not just you but a lot more people half the web or more could suffer from that one link that one conetor being broken off or crushed

when the divoce happend and mom told me about the whys and the whens it made me think that she thought highly of me to tell me all of that that she tursted me to help her ratonilze every thing

when my bubbiey(yuddish for grandmother) gets all up set and flusterd its always me thats called to keep her from haveing harder brake downs

now that i looked at my chain web i see that my link was/is/always will be the conector link to the rest of the family its funny realy even now as i think back to every thing moms cheese starting to slip off the cracker my brother turning in to the sexest bigot my father subconsously molded him to be (he acutaly swore at out bubby today when she had us cleaning out rooms our bubby the woman that dypered his a$$ tought him how to read and walk and baby sat to this day the woman that no matter what the p***k did loved him ) all the stiff of the scenalaity of my bubbiey i know that i should feel more emotions then i do but i just dont i want to i want to yell cry something but i realy am the rock i kept mom from haveing to fight the five second rule when her cheese fell i chalange my brother even tho the A$$ hit me and hit hard every time i told him to do a chore that was his that needed to be done i gave my bubbiey a sholder to cry in to and a hug all i did was retreat in to the computer deeper and deeper till i lost all conection between my self and my RP charaters or i fell in to my books now and then would i talk to a school friend

i guess my link is of a stronger aloy then the others i guess im just one of the few that can keep a grip on there marbbles all be it a scued one and keep ever thing else around them runing i guess i should be happy about that at least