I realize now that I get lonely when I have nothing to do. I live out in the middle of nowhere, a 30-45 minute drive away from most of my friends who actually might have things to do and parents who won't give me a drive to any of their houses anyway. Internet doesn't work because half of them are offline all the time anyway, whether they're busy with something or just too lazy to sign in. I haven't had many interesting conversations lately anyway, and I hate how hard it is to interact through text. I DID go to my friend's house for the night on Tuesday, but it went fast and we didn't do much to begin with.
Ugh. I've been left with nothing to do and no one to talk to. Well, sure, I have things to do, but I can't bring myself to do them. I need motivation. I suppose that's why I don't like March Break. I can't get anywhere because it's crappy weather, I can't go outside in the snow because it's all half-melted around my house and it's incredibly boring to go outside by yourself anyway. I feel... empty. I don't know, it's so weird. When I feel like this, I can't draw, I can't keep focused, I just can't occupy myself a lot of the time. There are one or two things I WANT to do, but I can't bring myself to do them.
As weird as this sounds coming from me, I want to go back to school as soon as possible. Homework and all. It's a great source of motivation (and lulz) for me, because I can meet up with my friends and, most of the time, do something productive, even if "productive" means scribbling in my sketchbook when the teacher isn't looking. I want to get back to art club, because I get to talk with the BEST ART TEACHER EVERRRR, Mrs. DeCoste (Someday I hope she reads this paragraph because she's awesome) and I get to work with some awesome clay and help my friends work on projects for teachers. I want to get back to class to move on my way towards getting an awesome job in the future, I ESPECIALLY want to get back to Science and Social Studies classes, because the teachers are awesome (I'm one of their favourites, along with one of my best friends) and I sit right next to Katrina in both classes. On that topic, I want to stay the hell away from English and Math, because I don't like the teachers I have for either class, or the people in those classes. (I swear, Mrs. Chamberlain hates me/everyone except the guys who are full of themselves.)
... I kind of lost my train of thought, but I think I got everything out that I needed to say. Thanks a lot if you took the time to read this, I know it's long. That was a good vent. Please comment if you have the time, as you can probably tell, I lack communication at the moment.
