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Why
Why must you continue this attack on me? Why are you trying to hurt me? Why do you willingly insult me and say things on the soul purpose of hurting me, yet have the audacity to say you still care? How can you do that? Do you not see what you've done? Do you not see what you're doing? Why can't you see it? Can't you see that you truly are giving me a reason to hate you? I thought you knew me well enough to know I only hated when people give me a reason to. But the moment of redemption, and my hatred is wiped away. But you don't care. For some reason, you think I've done you some great injustice, and the only way to right this wrong is to deliberately hurt me. Even though you say you aren't, I know you. I know you are. My god, how is it misconstruing when you've said something word for word? There is no way. There is no reasoning with you. You are like a child, a savage, uncivilized being. If you could just be kind; kindness wins me! You know this! But then you also say you don't want anything to do with me...but--you still care? I really wish you signals would stop being mixed. For ******** sake, you literally said before we broke up you thought you didn't love me. BEFORE. But I'm misconstruing your words. I'm "focusing on the negatives." How am I supposed to take that?! How would you take it if I said I didn't love you when we were together?! When you literally said you were only sticking by me because you needed me? I accused you of that so many times, and you denied it every time, just to throw it back in my face when I'm truly at my worst. Do you not see that by this point, I'm not doing anything to provoke you? Yet you still insult me--then insist you aren't. I gave you so many chances. Then I tried to push you out for the best for both of us. But you wouldn't go, and this happened. I WARNED you it would. Yet it's MY ******** FAULT this happened, and that gives you the right to say anything you want to me. My words don't affect you. Well, ******** good for you. I still give a ******** s**t and every goddamn word out of your spiteful mouth is another stab in the back. You're ******** killing me and I KNOW I've given up at this point. But you keep coming at me. ********, if all you're going to do is insult me and act like a ******** pathetic child, why won't you leave me the ******** alone?! WHY?!! What the ******** is your problem that you have to keep coming at me when I'm just trying to stay out of your ******** way?! What do you want from me?! What the ******** are you trying to do?! Why do you want me dead?!! All you do is make me miserable, and I'm sorry. I still care, so yes, you are ruining my life. The moment I fully give up is the moment you will regret for the rest of your life. I'm begging you to push me that far, I'm begging. If you hate me so much, hate the way I "treat" you, hate the things I do...Do something you ******** p***y. I tried to prevent ALL OF THIS YOU ******** IDIOT. I don't care if you don't believe me. You are an idiot, because I tried to prevent ALL OF THIS by staying away. At least for a bit. BUT YOU WOULDN'T LET ME!! How is it, I have "the most rage," yet your opinions and your words still matter to me, yet my opinions couldn't mean less to you? How does that make sense? You're "done being [my] shadow." That's funny; as if I MADE YOU. NO. ******** NO. I tried to stop that s**t but you wouldn't let me. And now you really are trying to shovel all the blame on me. Well I hope you choke on your "happiness." I hope you choke on every little bitter word you have you say to me. Because no matter how much "fun" you have, I know you aren't having as much fun as I am. Because at least I have people that love me. You have..."friends." And I know what I have with them is real. I never lied to you when I told you I loved you. But apparently you did.
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