Well its been a while since i last posted in my journal, but i felt this current development in figuring out who i am is an important feat to ignore and i reckon it can help people who have the same questions of who they are?
Well its weird, but who i am can be traced back to the days of when i was only 8 years old. A year after my mother died, my family thought that i needed a female influence, and so my aunt took it upon herself to teach me proper ettiqutte. So from then on she taught me quite a lot, and it hit me: my aunts teachings was what made me who i am.
For 7 years she taught me proper etiquette and how to act like a true lady so it meant learning how to dress like a lady for all occassions, be it formal or casual, she taught me proper dinner manners and which cuttlery to use (She believed thats what made a person) she taught me music and how to play the piano, and how to walk and talk like a lady. Every lesson left its mark on me.
Since then i had always played the piano, learning the usual classics such as Mozzart and Bethoven, and it got me thinking about other types of music. Then in comes the band Within Temptation, i first listened to Mother Earth and it gave me inspiration to create more symphonic pieces that could be tied into a metal score which explains my style today.
All the lessons on proper etiquette and how to dress like a lady opened up to resentment for the fact that i was being told how to dress and it basically got me into dressing in the complete opposite. From the age of 14 i became a tomboy and tbh i never looked back on it. Yes i still wear girly clothes ranging from dresses, blouses, skirts etc but they only come out when its neccessary unlike my aunt who wears those sort of clothes 24/7.
Learning how to walk and talk like a lady; well that went out the window seeing as i was living with my dad and my brother. I never took those lessons on board because of living with them and i couldn't be happier.
I guess it goes to show that despite the lessons learnt from people; their intended results could take form into something less expected. I'm kinda glad of that because you gotta ask yourself: what would i be like if i didn't have those lessons? Or if those lessons didn't have the intended effect?
I guess what i'm trying to say is that if you look at it from all angles then anything can happen.
The Demonette Community Member 
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