God Damn! I was drunk when I wrote this.
Sometimes I can be a violent drunk, who knew?
So IF this SOMEHOW gets out to ANY1 (especially at school) I cannot claim I had any idea when writing this.
All I simply did was copy & paste. I mean, there is no proof at all that I've even read this damned entry! So most words, I may have not meant, or meant, but in a less hostile manor. Enjoy my drunk side for I was daring to post this at all. And if I get in trouble for pasting this, as I said, I can't claim I was aware what has been written, plus, I'll know who informed whom.
Ah, yes, and it doesn't help either that I am a compulsive liar.
Half of the content could be made up, all of it, or none.
Believe what you wish
******** s**t!
Way to start an entry, right?
I ******** hate my ex!
I've been leaving the damned b***h alone, like she wanted, and when I
speak to her, only because I must, I pretend to be kind (even though
I'm really just finding many ways to murder her in my mind).
She could at least do the same for me.
She thinks by ignoring me, and the past, makes whatever happened go
away, as if nothing ever took place. s**t, she's worse than I am! With
me, I believe that if I lie about something so many times, it becomes
true. Like that she was 1 of my many mistakes. Think about it. I'm a
writer, I can concoct some grand stories, people. I've memorized
perfect lies, edited them, and added them into background information.
Yeah, I'm nuts.
A sociopath is all.
What I'm saying is that I could constantly be spitting up lies without
even knowing.
Ah, so the story of the ******** whore.
~This is the story of a whore, made her ex real mad. She looks like
she follows fads in photographs. And people only love her, 'cause
she's a slut. 'Cause she's a slut. Oh, she follows fads in photographs
and people only love her, 'cause she's a slut~
Yes, I changed the words a bit, but that song is stuck in my head,
plus it fit with what I was saying!
So I'm in the library, minding my own business, when a friend of mine,
Trethan, walked toward me, purposely jabbing his umbrella onto my shin.
AAAAH! My ******** cuts, dude!
But, no, I did not say that. It's a library for Christ's sake.
As the pain slowly left my leg, we began talking about this auto
manual I pointed out that was bigger than a goddamned Bible.
Out of ********' nowhere, we freeze in shock from this loud crashing
sound. I shifted; Trethan still frozen. Noticing he was not moving I
glanced down at the book I was reading earlier.
It felt like a few minutes when, really, the time that went by was
less than a second. Turning around to the window where the stirr had
come from, I noticed Caitlyn running away. Not really a run though.
More like some retarded hop.
Yeah, so she tapped on the window, who gives a s**t? I do! Just 'cause
she's pissed at me, doesn't mean she can ruin my friends' lives
aswell! Disrespecting me.
Trethan saw her too. I have a witness! He realized that was the girl I
used to "hang around with," so he put it.
So I was told to control her.
She's not mine to control anymore.
She's not eating out of the palm of my hand like she was right after
our break-up. I cannot order her around, but I can demand respect from
that c**t. I hate her ******** guts.
At least I didn't get a lecture this time.
Sapphie and his friends always tell me how to treat a girl. Basically,
like s**t. Surprisingly, I've told them nothing about my
relationships. They just... know. It was obvious when I was wearing
Caitlyn's ring though.
But what about my other relationships?
Just 'cause I'm lez they assume?
Or is it 'cause I sleep with his girls he invites?
Sleeping with a girl doesn't mean s**t.
-Doesn't mean I love her.
- Doesn't mean I care about her.
- Hell! Doesn't even mean I know her!
(or them: 3-sum! Not many though, and not great enough to brag about)
So I got out of the damned lecture, great. I gotta stop listening to
my friends. I know what they say is wrong, and that I wouldn't like to
be treated the way they inform, but their methods just stick in my mind.
I am so used to obeying.
People are so proud of me because I'm not part of a pack. Well, yeah,
that's at school. At home, it's different. We're all family (unless
there are cops involved).
I have always obeyed my 'brothers and sisters.' Especially with the No
Snitch rule. God damn some people and their big-a** mouths! My
friends'd have their way with them by now.
Sometimes I just wish we could make exceptions for some s**t to be
told. Caitlyn was talkin' so much crap 'bout me for a while. On, like
MySpace n' s**t. Eh, I do not do MySpace. Rape n' s**t. Gee, Wonder
why I'm afraid a' rape, huh?
I don't like snitching 'cause of my buddies, but Caitlyn was asking
for it.
If I could snitch, I'd tell Sapphie and his gang. But I can't and I
won't. I am not weak. I won't depend on others to help me.
(If you don't have MySpace or Facebook, how do you know what she's
saying? Good question. My friends who do not belong with my 'family'
told me. I never asked. They'd ask about my sex life, and suddenly
they'd start talkin' about the s**t Caitlyn was saying about me. But
that was a few months ago. 4 sources.)
Though I could take matters into my own hands now. ********, I have my
knife.
Though I would kill myself before any1 else. And I don't have to deal
with Caitlyn anymore, even if I hafta hear the negative things she has
said about me almost every day.
She needs to stop being so immature.
She can't deal until she's made my life a living hell, but that's
already happened, when I was with her. She's bad news.
No, I won't 'take care of her,' but if she even speaks 1 cruel word to
my face again, I will whack her cheek with my knuckles. She deserves
what's coming to her.
1 day I had to be kind to her because we were in Dance groups. All she
did was be the little c**t she is. Shrugging me off. You know how hard
it is to be nice to some1? And when they treat you badly, that can
irritate you so easily. You're on a fuse speaking to them, but if
they're a' be a douche, that makes the fuse blow the bomb.
I almost hit her. Luckily I had some control over my body, but I
regret not harming her. I could care less about expulsion.
Bring it on!
Ah, before I forget:
I kinda confronted Caitlyn on the matter. About the library thing.
Not well thought out, huh?
Didn't help that I was also a bit high.
Dontcha love having friends with drugs?
That s**t smells up the whole house!
Not like I did anything. Heh heh.
I was only around; a shadow really.
Or just gettin' ready to get laid.
Either way, 'twas a bad idea.
I would apologize to her, but she'd just be all bitchy, so I wont even waste the breath.
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Dysfunctional_Hooker
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