I wish I could go back. Back to 2005. Maybe if I spent more time with him, It wouldn't have been so hard. It was my guilt that hurt me. Guilt for not spending time with him. Guilt for every time he came to visit I'd be away. I cant remember the good times, cant remember his smile. I CANT REMEBER HIS FACE!!! Some one I loved, and held so dear, and I cant remeber him? That just adds more guilt on top of guilt. More of the crushing pressure. I try to remeber how he looked at me, like the only girl in his world. How he would smile. I was too young then, and I'm too old now. Too young to think beyond a certin level, i would let the adults deal with it, too old to remember his face. When I try...all i get is a balck empty void. When I dream of him...i can never see his face. I see his srtong arms that held me close when I cried, his tree trunk thighs that i sat on and played horsey.
I wanna go back to 2005 or maybe before that. I would get him to stop drinking so heavy. So he could still be here not buried 6 ft. underground. So i could still have him. SO I WOULDN"T HAVE TO FEEL ALL THIS PAIN AND CRY THESE TEARS AND FEEL SO LOST!!
i wanna have him back...i need to have him back...so he could stop my crying...pick me up and hold me, tell me its ok, so he could stop all this pain...
I SCREAM OUT TO THE HEAVENS WITH MY ARMS OPENED WIDE
"COME BACK TO ME! COME BACK HOME! IF YOU WANNA STAY JUST KNOW I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TO DEATH!"
R.I.P. Henry Lewis Powell <3 my uncle, and my angel
ScreaminAngelDust Community Member |
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