Yeah.
I guess I should keep a journal, but I couldn't keep one to save anyone's life.
I'm an "in the moment" person so all of my thoughts and feelings at the point where I'm thinking about writing in the journal are dimmed down and tired to the point where I can't remember much of anything.(Or at least I don't want to try.)
Here's the actual entry:
Well, I don't know what I'm going to say will be accurate, but it's what I feel at the moment.
[Friend#1] and [Friend#2] ((I'm not going to name my real life friends.))
I have no clue what's going on between them.
But goddamn, it's getting ******** annoying. Not only they're depressed, they're getting me depressed. Like holy s**t. I don't want to sound weird or anything, but I think I might be one of those people who can sense and feel others emotions. Even just slightly.
Or maybe being sick and going to school and exaggerating the feeling of neglect I think I'm receiving is having a toll on me.
Seriously though. ((Back to the subject on [Friend#1 and Friend #2] ))
I think they should start thinking for themselves instead of each other. They can help each other do that, but they're going to start developing a dependency on each other and then start doubting each other. The depressing aura is enough to make me cry. Earlier I had this mindset that people don't think of me as a friend, more as entertainment that can survive off itself. Which is depressing.
I could probably live by myself but it would be so hard. Because now I believe I've made real friends instead of people that wouldn't mind me being around them. I don't know, I'm probably sad that I don't have a best friend. I think that when I try to have a best friend, I try to make a dependency so I can convince myself I love them. Plus I don't show my true self to anyone. At least, there hasn't been moments where I had to reveal my true self. I don't even know who my true self is, because I'm still a teenager growing up and my thoughts and ideals are changing constantly.
But God Damn!
Anyways, I hope [Friend#1] and [Friend#2] can work things out with themselves. Maybe I can help them, but I'm reluctant to try and help if they don't ask or give me signs.
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Lyrics/Sano's Curse
Here you can find lyrics to some of Disko Warp songs.
And my manga idea will grow in this journal.
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KazeNoSano
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